Coil: Counting blessings, chasing demons and other ways of helping the anti-suicide efforts

by Vidyaratha Kissoon

“Some people might think this is a dark poem” – seventy-seven year old Francis Quamina Farrier told the audience. He read “Makonaima’s Sacrifice” a poem which is about the legend of Kaieteur and the  “self-sacrificing of the people. The event was called Two Gentlemen Read Poetry – two elderly men Mr Farrier and Captain Lloyd Marshall. They read different kinds of poetry (except spoken word) . After he read the poem about people sacrificing themselves to Makonaima,  Mr Farrier wondered perhaps, if Woodside Choir or some other group would go to the top of Kaieteur and sing Count Your Blessings .

Some persons who are suicidal or depressed might feel that the curses which cause the pain outweigh the blessings. They might feel more anxious that they cannot enjoy their blessings without feeling pain.

In the Sunday Chronicle Classified Ads of 31 January, 2016 – under “Councling”  – an Apostle offers to cure the demon possessed. There are no other ads for other types of services available. There are quite a few people who feel that more prayer is needed and that suicide is a demon in the nation and that it should be chased out and prayed away, and that suicidal thoughts are brought in by the devil.

Some people might feel better after prayer sessions/poojas/etc to clear any blockages. Other persons might still not feel good. There are many religious organisations which encourage their followers to seek medical care rather than or in addition to prayer.

In a recent march in Linden, Nursing students were clear in their message “Thinking about suicide, consult us and we will help you”  People have had different experiences with nurses in the public health system. Some of the survivors of suicide attempts have felt abused by nurses. I heard one nurse talk in a public forum about the stress of dealing with people who do not want to live, while also dealing with people who want to live but are battling life-threatening conditions..

A reader of  the Coil I wrote about empathy asked indirectly for information about where a person could volunteer to help out. Different organisations have different volunteer programmes. Sometimes, people might want to help even though they are not in organisations.

So you want to help out in the suicide prevention work…
I am not a mental health expert or professional, I barely manage my own mental health issues. One response I saw to a previous Coil about suicide prevention was ‘everybody is now an expert’ .

Please do not believe anything you read here.

A trainer in the 1995 Help & Shelter Counselling Training programme had shared different helping strategies, including counselling. These are some of the things which I learned about helping from that course and which might be useful to individuals who are not in organisations..

The best kind of help focusses on the needs of the person being helped.
The best help really is the kind which requires no recognition or reward, or no thanks. One of our trainers had given an example in a  counselling context. She said the best counselling process is one which might have started with a person feeling confused and in tears, and at the end,  the person leaves smiling and thinking.. “oh, but I did not have to come here, I could have figured what to do on my own”.

The best helping process puts the focus on the person being helped to understand their needs.  Not moments for photographs.

Breaking myths, learning more on your own
There are different places to learn about mental health , and about suicide prevention. Learn about the myths and be prepared to change your mind about a lot of things.  Listening with an open mind  to persons who survived suicide will also help.

The Canadian Association of Suicide Prevention,website has some  useful information.  The article by by Caitlin Vieira  in Sunday Chronicle 7 Feb, 2016 has information related to Guyana.

Counselling requires training, it is not for everyone
There are many different approaches to counselling. Counselling requires skills which should be learned from professionals. Some people might have the skills already. Counselling requires accountability. In Guyana, we think counselling and advising are the same thing.  Counselling requires listening, and enabling someone to making their own decisions. Not the decision you want them to make.

Support with accompanying to doctor,  counsellor, checking in..
Years ago, I had to visit the GPHC Psychiatric Clinic. It was a bit intimidating. Some persons might need a companion to go to visit the doctor, or for an initial visit to a counsellor. It is helpful to check  on people after they promise.

Checking in with people who have been dealing with crises is good.  You might get fed up sometimes, so seek support.

Walking with someone who might not feel like going out is good. Walking without saying a word, but in quiet companionship would also be good. Any kind of exercise is always good.

One woman surviving an episode had a complex range of medications. Her son had to assume a kind of DOT role, (a role which is not recommended for family members) to remind her about the timing.

She normally managed her own medications but this episode had been debilitating for her. Some people might need help understanding the medications, and the side effects.

As other people work through their crises, they might need assistance – seeking employment, sorting out debts. Some things like ‘making the boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse come back’ will not be possible, but ensuring that the person is able to grieve without causing harm to themselves will be helpful.

Reducing the stigma associated with bad mental health
The culture laughs at mad people;  vulnerability is exploited, the inability to deal with problems alone is seen as weakness. Challenging the behaviours and attitudes of friends, co-workers, strangers , others – one on one sometimes – is important to remove the stigma and shaming that goes with poor mental health. You can help by limiting  the gossip and the condemnation, and encourage people to seek help when they have to.

Increasing public awareness , advocacy
A woman created flyers with information about suicide prevention and the national helplines. The flyers were shared at an event, and explained to about 170 persons – one on one.  She hopes to share them through her workplace.

You can check to see if staff notice boards, school notice boards have helpful information about suicide prevention. And if people can read them. You might have to create your own posters and put them up.

Some people who like to talk a lot have done lectures. Others do small group discussions, which allow interaction and questions and answers.

The public health services available for mental health and wellness have deteriorated over the last few years. Advocacy is needed to check on the availability of services and the accountability of the health and supporting services. You might decide to advocate for example, that your community  health centre should include space for support groups and counsellors.  You might want to advocate that the National Budget has enough money to pay salaries for caregivers.

Remember always, the best way of helping with suicide prevention is to think about and focus on the needs and circumstances of the people who are in need of the help.  Some issues require changes in the world, beyond the individual.

The Guyana Inter-agency Suicide Helpline operates 24 hours
Telephone -223-0001, 223-0009, 223-0818
Cellphone – 600-7896 (toll free from Digicel phones), 623-4444