Destiny in the broken louvre windows..

You kind of know that it will be difficult to do the cleaning for many reasons.. dust from the construction and the heat is everywhere and the designs which are not have all kind of dirty crevices which are more visible when dirty.

Mind is cool. Trying to think that this could have been quicker if things were different. A lesson from living as a guest in other peoples' space is that things are quickly disposed of and new things are not acquired. Minimalist living as  a kind of lesson in detachment.

Desire for cleanliness though.. the last detachment as the dust though is not in your memories, but in the memories of a man whose space you are occupying and who will hold on to things for value.. born of a time where hoarding things which gather dust was a sign of progress.

Things which should be disposed of. The guilt at disposing of some things. The dust in the old paper which never goes away and  and feeling angry about feeling angry and not feeling grateful that at least there is a roof over your head and some kind of shelter.

The louvres require delicate handline. You think you are okay and then snap.. and your hands move quickly to stop the splintering. You are glad that the pane is yours, nobody else's. There is plastic around. Another louvre has had tape for about a year now.. the patch work as a kind of permanent temporary fix as with so many other things in life.
 
Cleaning used to be a nice kind of thing to do. Something now about the futility of it all as the dust will come back and all of the dust has not gone.

Both panes will be replaced.  Memories of another time when the replaced pane cracked while being replaced.

Detachment from trying to be in control of whether the louvres will break or not, or where the dust will remain and whether anything can be engineered to reduce the dust build up.

Gratitude that so far, no itching.