"Like yuh stop write..."

Woman working as security guard saw me smiled and gave me a big hug.. long time.. she said.. she stopped working at the place I used to work since she is not doing shift work. 'Like yuh stop write'.. and she asked 'why yuh getting gray suh'.

I say well, ou know.. I writing a weekly thing now on this website. thing and when I done, sometimes i aint able fuh write no mo' and she said.. "okay.. I aint know whuh is duh .. i never hear bout it.. but well if yuh gah fuh get de lil change"

I do not know if it is the gray hairs or the muddled mind that has to be focussed on mindfulness  - things are taking longer to write than they used to do and then words don't flow together. There are a lot of things to write about , but gone are the days when it would take a short time to compose a letter to the editor.

I am grateful for the recent opportunities to be paid to write, though  it seems to write things that the woman who hugged me and asked would not be reading and remembering.

I wonder if there is a fatigue too, an apathy which comes from being able to gloss over news and headlines to avoid seeing the same things happen over and over and feeling like if I can cut and paste the text from 10,15 years ago ; and a fear of 'is he again'.

I am glad for the hug. I wonder about the writing thing though and hope that I haven't stopped writing.