8 ways to be nice to mad people without getting too involved..

You know you are a good person really and you want to be helpful to people and kind to people and do at least 7 hours of voluntary work in helping people a week.

You see all the nice things about 100 things to say to a depressed person and 500 things not to say to a depressed person and you know that there are people who are depressed or mad around.

You are annoyed because you do not want be guilted out into doing something about people around you who are mad depressed.

1. Manage  your social media account - Facebook is good
Unfollow those Facebook friends who are posting those links about what to say and what not to say and how to listen to depressed, mad people. You can unfriend them if you like, that way you would not feel too guilted and be reminded that you should be trying something.

Be careful that you do not become Facebook friends with actual mad people because you could then become inundated with really crazy posts when you are not awake ot moderate your page and then people will wonder what is going on or which number to call to send to the person who is your friend.  This would be in addition to the people in real life who are already depressed/mad who you would like to help without getting too involved.

2. Encourage your depressed/mad friends to text/email you any time they want rather than call
Text and email messages are good. That way, you don't have to read through the long things, but you can still be an outlet for venting. Also, you can let them know that your account is shared with your wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend and nothing is confidential. That way you can show that you are receptive to them venting but then again.. unless they want everybody to know their business, they can ease up on the venting. Send texts with hugs and smiley faces and so. If the person is on your Facebook page.. send lots of nice snappy happy pictures of snappy happy quotations and click like on everything the person says. See 6 below.


3. Avoid open ended questions when talking
You decide to Talk talk talk. You have read that isolation is one of the things which many depressed people feel. But.. avoid open ended questions like "how are you doing' or 'what did you do today'... because then you will get an earful of madness and you might not be prepared for it or you could get bored quickly. Questions like 'did you have a good bowel movement' , 'did you eat today'?.. "what do you think of the salary increase', 'can you tell me where I can find out how to bake a cake'  Avoid questions like 'were you able to masturbate today' as those might create further feelings of inadequacy.



4. Chocolate , chocolate, chocolate
Buy chocolate and give to them. If you cannot deliver yourself from a waiting taxi or car which cannot be turned off (so you do not have to spend too much time) , find a way to get it to them .  Cakes could work as well.

Resist the urge to crumble prozac or lithium or any other medications with the stuff if the person is not taking medications.



5. Call every now and then, from a phone with limited credit or in the middle of a busy time

Call on the phone. Be cautious. Explain that you did not really want to call because you did not want to create any further problems or be the trigger for a trip out. Listen carefully.. if the person does not hang up, or the person does not trip out.. proceed to ask nice questions (see 3 above).  If things look they are getting complicated, explain your credit is running out, or that someone is coming in the office, or shake the phone and knock on it and say you are sorry, it seems the line is breaking up and you will call back another time when you could.

Tell them they could call too, but you don't want them to be bothered.


6. Hugs, pat on the shoulder
You might be scared or too tired or just not able with taking on the mad depressed person, but you still want to keep connected. Send a text message or email or so with 'Hugs' and 'Big hugs'. Here are the emoticons to use {} , ({}) for a really big hug, ({}). There are others like this (>'')><(''<) which are more cuddly but if the person does not use emoticons , you run the risk of the person thinking something is wrong with you or your phone.

If you see the person in real life, approach them gently just in case they turn away or trip out.

7. Tell them your problems as a way of distracting from theirs
You can listen to the person as a way of realising that your life is not bad and that things could be worse for you.

Alternatively, you could call the person and let them know your problems especially if it is a person who is normally helpful with problems. They might feel better if they can help you solve your problems even if they are not solving theirs.


8. Disconnect if all else fails..but keep on Facebook or other ways

YOu have given helpline phone numbers. You have called, you have given chocolate. You have shared helpful links with things to read.
You have thought of going to a pandit/priest/imam/obeah man to do a lil wuk or get a lil reading

You have offered up prayers. They not seem to be cheering up.

You have also realised that there is no point in talking to them because conversations could start up nicely and then go weird . And especially for friends and acquaintances, it is no point keeping friends and acquaintances  with people who only make you feel sad and useless or annoyed .

Ease off the connections if you could. Stay away. And if anybody asks, say that you do not want to cause any further harm.

But .. keep on Faecbook as well so that you could click like on things, put the occasional comment and electronic hug.