Gratitude in bananas and a random mango and other things..


No matter how slow the movements are, how difficult it is to get the simple things done and how the mind cannot push boundaries to get tasks done.. the moon shifts or the nutrition changes or something.. and with the clouds hovering in the background... the word gratitude comes up ..

Gratitude for the turpentine mango which fell from the tree.. and for the  birds, bats and marabuntas that left it for me..gratitude for the lil greenish soursop that still taste nice when it blend up with water..

Gratitude for the bird nesting again in the same nest as the other bird because I don't think the same bird could be laying eggs so quickly or maybe the bird feels comfortable.. means that the house must have some nice vibes in it for the birds (and lizards and ants which the lizards no longer eat, and the mosquitoes.. all living in harmony)

Gratitude for the bananas, and the banana icecream at the bottom of the sundae from Demico which should not have been eaten, but it is probably why I could talk about gratitude, and gratitude for the lady who come in who remember me from 10 years ago and who talk her story with me and who is a lesson in resilience..

Gratitude for the courage to go and eat the spoon of guava jam.. probably healthier than the plain sugar.. nice big spoon of guava jam and thinking of the (former) loved one who like guava cheese and who doing well

Gratitude that I could be civil to the other loved one who send a quick message and gratitude that I did not agonise over how to respond because of the wedding ring.. gratitude that I  still love

Gratitude that I am not bothered by the impotence and the fitful sleep and the fatigue.. all signs that the body and mind going through something which will pass and that I do not really care too much about these things.

Gratitude for the people who ask questions, wanted to know things and who I could reply to with answers which were useful. Functioning and being part of community.

Gratitude for the new things read and new things seen, stored in the mind for when they will be used even if not now because now is 'what the hell does all this matter when I cannot do anything with it'

Gratitude for the cleaning, washing and cooking done in one go which I don't normally do because my head cannot multitask.. but all done.. including cooking the mix kidney beans and blackeye beans stew which 'ketch on a lil bit' and taste nice..

Gratitude for the impulse to go and try the yoga, not every posture worked but the stretching helped.. the body is tight due to stress and no matter how much you think you can stretch the body, the mind has to also be loose.

Gratitude for the nenwa scrubbing with the almond/apricot smelly thingy.. sensory things not good.. and then taking the foot grater to the soles of the feet and maybe that has  helped to generate feelings of gratitude.

Or maybe not. Gratitude that I am not bothered, that I have accepted this and will have to live with it.




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