The Coil: Control Freaks

By Vidyaratha Kissoon 

The woman’s phone rang and she said “Y’all listen, hear how he does talk to me”. She put the phone on loud. Car was driving and breeze was blowing. A gruff voice asked ‘Where you deh , where you deh’ . The woman said “I not at home, I will call you back” .

There were three women in the car. Coming from Berbice.  The woman with the phone told us that the man “controlling”. He took a knife and made the fashion cuts in her jeans.  She had divorced from a man who had nuff woman. She used to hit him after she found out he was cheating on her. She had a picture of them on the phone. “I like he , but I aint putting up wid nonsense” “He does call me and ask fuh we mek up back”

Her family wants her to marry the man who took the knife to rip the jeans more. She does not want to marry him. She is going to meet a man, who is ‘nice, he does talk nice nice”. The phone rings. She talks and hangs up. “You see, how soft he talk”.

Another woman in the car is heading to work and talks about her life. Her first husband used to beat her. She moved aside the sleeve of the dress to show a scar. “This is what he did to me”.  She says “You have to stand for yourself. Go and start over life. Do not be dependent on no man”. “We don’t want to read about you in de papers” She says that she waited for years after her first marriage , “building mehself” before “I tink about man again”.  She remarried – “a good man, but he modder controlling he”.

She asked me if I am married or have any children. I say, no I am happily single and childless. “You want two lash, big man like you, no chirren and no wife” .   There is independence here, both rejecting violence and abuse as a new normal.

Though, well, there is a far way to go to seeing that “no chirren and no wife” is normal.
This week the Government is crticised for discriminating against women in the composition of the state boards which have been announced. The majority of the boards are in the financial/economic sector.

This week too , Jennifer Westford, MP candidate of the PPP is charged with attempted larceny, and Bheri Ramsarran is charged for using insulting language (against a woman).

I asked a 35-year-old woman I know who has broken many of the ‘gender’ norms – in appearance, interactions with young people and choice of work. We talked about how this Government is recognising women. Her first reaction was “I not really paying attention, but women too emotional fuh dem ting”. I said, eh? From you? She smiled.. “Is men mess up, so let de men fix it”.   “There is no women equality.. it is just the idolizing.. the sexualizing, and dem girls know dat is de game”
“Guyana still backward”.  I asked her about her experiences of discrimination, she said “Yeah, I get pass ovah nuff time, but is stay female or dead.

We were near Bourda market. There was a display of local goods outside the new GMC . The people
selling at the time are mostly women. The same thing in Bourda market.  A woman I know used to leave her Georgetown home early in the morning to head up to the rice fields she owned and managed, and come back late at night. The Guyana Rice Development Board has one woman in the thirteen member board. The percentage of women who are involved in the rice industry must be higher.

The Ministry of Social Protection had an exhibition at the Parliament Buildings  as part of its activities for International Day against Trafficking in Persons. The officer said that most of the women who reported being trafficked were involved in sex work. There was a report by the Guyana Women Miner’s Organisation (GWMO) which was displayed with the other reports. The GWMO was formed to advocate for the rights of women miners and to counter the exploitation of women in the industry. The Guyana Gold and Diamond Miner’s Association had not done any advocacy on behalf of women in any visible way. The GWMO is known for its efforts against trafficking in persons.

It is not known whether any of the members of GWMO have been invited to sit on any of the recently named state boards  or whether they would have to be nominated by going through the men led ‘private sector organisation representation’.
There are two women from the private sector who have been named among the few women on the recent boards.

The woman who was talking to me near the market said that it ‘getting worse for women’. “In we day, it was priority to study and so, now like is just about being sexy”  The women in the car talked about not putting up with violence. There were no regrets about leaving and avoiding abusive relationships.

The call for women to be visible in the leadership of Guyana is connected to the eradication of gender based violence and other forms of discrimination.  There should be no reason for any citizen to think that ‘it getting worse for women’.