Hope for slack pants and succumbing to pine slice..

The sugar and bad eating take their toll as the clothes getting tight. A nice promise to eat less, cut out sugar, and go and do exercise even if the body hurts.. but some karmic things as a fall during a normal yoga pose and unlike the old time when I was able to just cut out everything  and go run on the seawall..

A lot of things about not going back to the past.. but the rush that came from running again on the seawall.. ignoring the pains which are not the pains of muscles.. but feeling .. and wondering if the feelings are real or just memory of how it feels to have breeze in your back, and sweat in  your head and chest pounding as you go.. next line on the wall, next line. steps, pump station..

Managing depression requires some mindfulness of the present.. so the fall , was followed by a resumption of some poses to conquer the despair that things are changing faster than I could imagine.

Pine slice around so yes, it has to be eaten and it gives nice relief even though the belt is tight and I am determined not to go and buy larger clothes.

But the relief comes with the stupid feelings of come on man, be strong.. the bad habits of turning to food have to be changed.


Diary alert is there.. Go and Walk, go do something active.  Pine slice is there. Memories of the past come back.. of when the running and feeling good used to be followed by not feeling good and so it is like.. is it worth it? A kind of self-defeating thing..

The need for the body to move, pain or no pain, because exercise is important and not worrying about the things which did not go as planned and about the things which did not pan out and feeling bad about all that.

Remembering instead of how it felt chest pounding, and knees wobbling, as I kept saying steps and stop, and then still ran past a bit to the curve. and forget that I used to much much more than that.

And looking at the pine slice and saying.. yeah.. you are my friend and I love you but you not good for me because I not going and buy new clothes.

New beginnings. Starting over.