Transitions and excuses to eat junk

The white upright lily that lasted forever is now aging gracefully and it is slow.. not like some flowers which shrivel up and die quickly. But even in aging, the colours of brown and  yellow are interesting.
 
Funeral of a nice man whose death has marked the end of phase perhaps. Another relative confirmed with cancer - relative who was 'good good good' a week or two ago. Feeling foolish after not stopping to help a man who had a jute bag of bottles that might have been broken and he not sure what he want to do with them.

He fell down twice he said.. riding from Sophia with them and he trying to do the right thing.

And I said okay and walked on and wondered what I should have done instead because the man was not sure what he wanted to do.


Binge eating junk. Money in the pocket and every place I pass I can buy so I go and buy even though I am not hungry.


Never mind that the stomach feels sick after and there are deep regrets after eating the junk and thinking that I should be eating fruits instead.

Enjoy the running in the rain and getting soaked and then the knees and shins hurting hours afterwards , maybe I will run in the rain again.. damned euphoria is so short lived.

Wedding of a friend.. and saying to the nice lady who called about the reception that I not going to the Marriott and this intense time when my politics clashing not so much with the money but with the nice people who I know whose politics are bizarre.

Woman I know says that her phase is taking longer than usual to ease and she not finding anything to be happy about.

I see a mad woman sitting down and there is a writing challenge to take up to say.. how to write about being mad.. and hoping that my manic thing will push some nice creativity.