Love on a tightly crumpled piece of paper..

Five years ago the friendship ended. The intense connection. The love etc. The complications.

Three years ago you walked past me straight. A few weeks ago in one of the random messages which you sent that there was a financial loss.

I laughed at myself as I sent the piece of paper with a contribution to the recovery which you insisted you did not want.

I said , no... please do as you want. There is no obligation.

You sighed and said Thanks.

I have not heard from you again.

I got the piece of paper back with your handwriting at the back which indicates that you accepted the gift. I used to imagine myself making such gifts anonymously.. staying far away as possible but close enough to 'help' if necessary.

Because when we used to talk of Love, I made promises which I intend to keep even though there might not be any love anymore.

I tore up the piece of paper and threw it away determined to let the past go.

I went back into the bin to scan the piece of paper to keep as a memento of the connection. It is the only sample I have of your handwriting really since we used to communicate mostly electronically , with a lot of quarelling.

I threw away the paper. At some point I will delete the image with your handwriting.

There is no obligation. Thank you for accepting the gift which you did not ask for and which I keep wondering whether I should have sent. I remember the man I am, who keeps his promises even to loved ones who are gone.