That issues with people thing..

The reporter said.. don't worry wid him, he got issues wid .xx.. .

I had been trying to navigate the issues .. .. there was a restraining order of sorts against me and I did not want to discuss that but the reporter seemed to know the story already.

Thirty  years ago I would never have expected to have a series of restraining orders, some of them broken from time to time by those who impose them. Restraining orders, people who do things contrary to my ethics, whose contradiction of their values is draining - who say one thing in private and do another in public.


Mental health considerations mean not being able to mask any more to spend time trying to hide the discomfort. Age has meant that I could refuse to attend social events and so as nicely as I could.  Work has meant that I have to perform and deliver as a social being many times.

Karma says no. You have to deal with your crap all at once. It is one thing about compassion and empathy, it is another to have to be silent about pointing out to people where they keep contradicting themselves.

I could stay away from pickets where I do not have to bounce into people who raise my discomfort level and who I would have to stutter and stammer in front of so as not to generate any conflict. I manage some interactions well, put up all the guards to ensure that the interactions are civil and so.  I manage to be useful in all the instances and that has been easy to do. It is easier to respond to a request rather than to be nice and polite and make conversation.

And so wellness is  managing how to stay away from people, keep my distance from knowing them too well to have to deal with the stupidness .. while also finding ways to keep connected because in life we are connected.




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