The Coil: Pillow Talk wid Mr Edghill and Mr Bond

by Vidya Kissoon

The smoke from the LION BRAND, LIZI and GOLDEER coils  mixed with the smoke from the marijuana which was rejected from Brazil has generated deep and meaningful philosophical questions like ‘What if I was a homosexual who was interviewing Mr Edghill and Mr Bond on Pillow Talk? “
The Pesticides and Toxic Chemicals Board is right, these coils are dangerous as you will see in this intelligent conversation.
Homosexual Hitting Hard Question:  Gentlemen, welcome to Pillow Talk. Why are you here when you could be out there campaigning for poor people?
Thoughtful  Answers
Mr Edghill:  The homosexual agenda is militant, it seeks to destroy the idea of family and poor families will suffer more if the homosexual agenda becomes real. We have to work against the homosexual agenda and the poor will be happy. There are many false and dishonest reports put out by the racial opposition parties about how many poor people are there, but this is because the homosexuals are linked up with the opposition agenda.
Mr Bond: The PPP is running a racial campaign. APNU-AFC is not racial. APNU-AFC asks the Indian homosexuals and the African homosexuals and the dougla homosexuals and the Indian Poor and the African poor and the dougla poor and the Amerindian and the Chinese and the European to vote for us  on May 11th and then after the first month or so, we will see.
Homosexual Hitting Hard Question:  Mr Rohee met with lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered people a few weeks ago. Should other parties do the same?
Thoughtful  Answers
Mr Bond: The PPP is running a racial campaign. APNU-AFC is not racial.  APNU-AFC will not be able to meet with everyone before the election since we have limited time. Vote for Change and then you will get to meet with us after we win since we will have a lot of time to meet with everybody. We will not Change.. I mean, we will Change other things but we will not Change anybody.. I mean we will Change the bad people not the good people.. you know what I mean?
Mr Edghill:  We have to meet with homosexuals and with the opposition if we want to change them. I was just like the Opposition before I changed   Mr Rohee is an honourable gentleman and I am not saying that honourable gentleman have secret dealings with people whose lifestyles are evil and destructive to ensure we win the elections. Mr Rohee and I are in the same collective which is doing the campaign. It is very clever. For example, I confirmed that  Jesus will  vote for us and Mr Rohee  has asked me to ensure that Jesus has an ID Card for Election Day.
Homosexual Hitting Hard Question : Who do you think will pull more homosexual voters and women voters? Clinton or Lis?
Thoughtful  Answers
Mr Edghill:  That is disgusting. We are running a clean campaign and any homosexual who wants to be cleansed and be changed can join with our campaign. I am open to any homosexual or opposition who wants to change. I cannot speak for others.
Mr Bond: The PPP is running a racial campaign. APNU-AFC is not racial.  Our diverse party has many different people who can pull any demographic I am sure. I mean, Raph, me, a couple of us have been hitting the gym too ..
Homosexual Hitting Hard Question:   After elections, what kind of gay marriage packages will the Marriot offer?
Thoughtful  Answers
Mr Edghill:  What a sickening idea. What a desecration of a monument to our progress as a developed country? Is this part of your racist agenda to divide our country? How can you turn one of our proudest national achievements into a place in which evil is worshipped?
Mr Bond: The PPP is running a racial campaign. APNU-AFC is not racial. Instead of jail time, and to show that we or not vindictive,  we will offer Winsome Winston and Amazing Ashni cooking jobs ,  and Doctor Jagdeo will offer herbal treatments so that all Guyanese can benefit. And I think me boy hey should be pastor to whoever will pay to get married.
Homosexual Hitting Hard Question:  Homosexuals like a lot of colours . Phagwah is a festival of colours so if we inhale some more, Phagwah could be seen as one big happy gay festival. Now that you know this, would your political parties ban Phagwah?
Thoughtful  Answers
Mr Edghill:  Ban. What kind of nonsense is that? You homosexuals want to take over everything and then complain about discrimination when you do not get your way because your destructive racist lifestyles will destroy Guyana. Has the PPP ever banned anything?
Mr Bond:  The PPP is running a racial campaign. APNU-AFC is not racial. Look, this nonsense that the PNC bans must stop. Hoyte changed all that. We want many colours to represent many races and I do not care who else likes many colours. So vote for us and then after the elections we can discuss if laws have to be changed.
Homosexual Hitting Hard Question:  Thank you for this really cool exchange, Would you guys hug up and give each other a peck on the cheek for our listeners?
Thoughtful  Answers
Mr Bond:  The PPP is racial. APNU-AFC coalition is not racial. However, what you ask could be possible in the interest of national unity since we are willing to work with whoever wants to work with us.
Mr Edghill:  What you ask will never be done. The PPP will never join any coalition for national unity with people who use racism to divide Guyana. In fact any people who use the word racism in their political speeches. We will work with whoever is righteous and who will add to our already overflowing cup of integrity and morality.

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