De tings dat friken me ... and Anil Must Go

The brilliant woman said that she felt fear for the first time in her recent activism when she heard of Courtney Crum Ewing's murder. I also felt afraid .. fear which had been building up when I saw the PPP take on the Guyana National Youth Council. I remember the fear when my parents and us were in the car near a Kitty Market rally with Walter Rodney speaking and the PNC thugs attacked the car. I was anxious about the meeting on Saturday when the PPP thug broke up the meeting. I felt the fear for the jobs of the young people who not in political parties and thought that they were doing something that other Caribbean youth were doing.

And more fear again after hearing Jagdeo's ranting and raving... not friken of him, but friken all the people on social media who were liking his rants and raves and sharing love for them. I friken dem bad .

I friken how easy it is for me to be friken. I friken how people keep saying other people and not them are racial.

I friken how I hear Greenidge did not hand in Audit report when he was Finance Minister and up to now, I aint know if he ever explain why. Not that it really matters.. I friken when he turn back Finance Minister if he aint gun present audit report and nutting really can be done about it except calling for vote for change the next election or compare wid how meaningless de audit report was in de PPP time.


I friken  how easy it was for me to say to hell wid it and to draw the placard Anil Must Go .  Sherlina writes why Anil Must Go and for me , Anil refers to the corruption, to the injustice, the false promises, to the contempt for people . For me Anil is also the culture  which fuels people to accept that Jagdeo can accuse the PNC of beating drum in 2011 to Vote Coolie Out and that is okay for him to live in a big house because Cheddi did not live in a logie.  Anil is the culture of impunity.
Anil is people saying that  you cannot go and sit near the tree where one man who get knock down by a bullet spent a lot of time trying to imagine a better place.



I friken about the lack of justice for the family of the woman whose father was killed by his PNC boss in the dark days  and who believes Anil Must Go and whose choice of change will be voting for the man who her family think had a hand in his murder.

I friken how  people waiting on May 11 for change and the way in which elections always bring winners and losers and there is never change. I friken how Jagdeo tell Ramotar to sort out the money for the teeth of the Ministers and how it seems Ramotar just tek it like dat and how people will tink is arite because of the paramountcy of de party which I thought was a PNC ting.


I friken how I turning down a request to write a chapter in a book about some work I would do because my mind not on it and I friken how despite I decide I not taking on the elections, that I taking them on and is not as though I could make money. I friken dat instead of growing and thriving , like the soul getting suck and I friken that despite the experience of all dem elections, is like the first time and there is life 'after elections when things settle down'.

I friken how a man ask me to join an organisation which sound like a nice civil organisation which might have to end up quiet quiet and I think about all dem nice nice organisation which can't call Anil Must Go because they might look political and so.



I friken how people in calling for change not clear what that change is.  I friken all dem nice people who finding excuses for not cussing out and who articulate by doing the tit for tat thing .

I friken that space need to be created to counter the madness and I friken that the mental energy to create space is not there.. I like the shade under that tree on Carmichael Street for some reason and maybe it will be a space. 


I friken how we match injustice for injustice and weigh which one is worse between the PPP and the PNC and how it is more and more difficult to match achievement for achievement or vision for vision. I friken how people depend on de PPP and PNC and their 'leaders' and electiosn for change.

I friken how after the picket/vigil/healing thing today I see a missed call from a former loved one and I friken how I delete the number and I tek long to agonise over whether I should call or text back and that if was important a voice mail would have been there because I aint want call and  here , sorry was a wrong number. I friken how dis stupidness is as meaningless as all the other things I friken.