The Coil: Bake and salt fish in a democracy

Editor’s Note: We are are happy to announce that award wining blogger Vidyaratha Kissoon (Thoughts of a Minibus Traveller) has kindly agreed to contribute a weekly column to The Mosquito. This is a major coup for our star studded writing pool as Vidya brings a uniquely quirky style to his subversive commentary as one will see in his first column…   
Bake and salt fish in a democracy
Guyana is an emerging democracy and the politics are usually about the black and coolie people and who they vote for. However, Guyana’s rich human diversity includes the odd weird person who chooses to live here when they could live anywhere else.
One person is William Walker who is that quintessential post colonial subject – white man who is living  in the developing  Republic and who has built a good reputation for high quality catering including bake and salt fish.
He gaffs here about not getting into politics and miasma.
VK : Would you ever endorse a political party or position? If not why not?
WW :  I er, no, I  am an outsider and I am not beautiful like how Janet Jagan was when she first came to Guyana and became the beloved mother of the nation and kept her amazing  Chicago accent.  I do not want to be a whitey preachy man who tells the natives what to do.
VK; A young man at the University of Guyana wrote about fear of vindictiveness, and ignorance of rights which has caused many Guyanese not to speak out.  Okay, seriously now. What are you afraid of ? (Is that correct English? Or should it be What are you afraid about?)
WW : Yes, I think it is correct English though it has been awhile since I have spoken with the Queen.  I am conscious of rights and I understand what the student wrote about about vindictiveness. I don’t know, hypothetically speaking , I would not want after I endorse any political positions to see letters in the free press about stale pastries and blogs about people getting stomachs pumped after eating saltfish and bake which I had sold them. These things could damage my credibility.
VK : Oh come on.. look how many people sell bake and saltfish across the political spectrum
WW : Well you know.. I mean.. people around the world like to damage reputations rather than deal in ideas and I do not want the sales of bake and saltfish to be affected by rumours of  stale fish being salted. I mean, I know people have gotten all kinds of things for speaking out or being political.  Didn’t one journalist have miasma thrown on him? God knows, it is bad enough when rain falls, to have to wade in the miasma and hope that it does not prevent the sales of bake and saltfish, I would not want to have to deal with miasma when the sun is shining.
VK :  Do you use imported or local salt fish?
WW : We use local saltfish. I understand that Mr Burnham helped to create local saltfish as part of the Republican dream and I am glad it continues under the PPP.   It is nice as an outsider to see these links between the PNC of the old and the PPP.
VK: Talking about the PNC, have you considered rice flour bakes/gluten free bakes in case democracy is returned to Guyana and the PNC comes back in and bans/restricts importation of flour?
WW : What? Oh. That is a great idea. I mean, gluten free bakes. That would be a niche market. I wonder if I could get rice flour to buy locally or if I would have to import it?
VK :  You used to work with the anti-Government putagee mafia Stabroek News. Do you think selling bake and saltfish and pastries is easier to do than  journalism in Guyana?
WW: Journalism is a challenging profession, and just like how you have to make sure that the bakes rise enough, you have to see the story. I could imagine for some people.. not only having to produce stories, but also having to get the right accent and also ensuring that their shirts and ties do not clash and that their suits are not wrinkled.  I would not want to get back into journalism in a hurry. It is not only in Guyana.
I was so happy when the PPP condemned the attacks on Charlie Hebdo in France. I did not see the condemnations from the other political parties. Then again, like so many other people, those political parties are probably not on Facebook sharing links and articles and arguing about what happened in France and freedom of speech and so.
VK : What advice would you give any preachy whitey who wants to endorse a political party or position?
WW : I think they should think about the good quality rum which unites many Guyanese and they should pursue those political positions only when they are drunk on Facebook or elsewhere.  They must be drunk on Guyanese rum though since that will give a unique perspective on all the possible political positions.  Would you like a bake and salt fish before you go?
VK: No thanks, . I will get one from my roadside man . I don’t think he is bothered if people write him up in the newspaper or the blogs . I must remember to  ask him if he knows what a blog is.