Moving in to and out of paralysed body and mind..

Woman sends a message to ask for two lines to describe 'you' and you stumble a bit. Anxiety around cooking and some of the other tasks. Anxiety in anticipation of another battle to ask the person who is not well to go see doctor rather than keep coughing/retching and visions of that battle which tense up the body in anticipation of what might be inevitable.
Tax payment which will remind you that you continue to make less money.. and anxiety that the money will not be enough.

Body is tense. Stomach is rumbling. The sweet orange tea brings some relief.. Sugar.. sugar.. sugar..

Time aside to do some yoga.. the stretches which bring relief. The mind is calmed usually.

But something.. one posture has the mind racing more and it is a long time before I realise I am not moving.. to the next posture.  The body is tensed up.. and bending with the tense body does not help.

And so frustration that this which is supposed to help is not helping..

The mind keeps running.. back and forth.. memories of the runs on the seawall and all the other things which helped.

And getting up , there are pains every where .. standing, sitting, moving.. a different jab .

Composing the blog in my head. Writing as a last resort .  Thinking it through. My fingers dont have pain so I could type.

A lot to be done this week. The mind has to move between different tasks..schizophrenia almost between being the dispassionate care giver, and the organised multitasker with the mundane and because money is involved, a problem solver which requires focus and time which is not distracted by anything

The body moves.. the mind stills and focuses.. nothing is really solved but maybe the few yoga stretches now have their effect. Patience really. 




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