Moon gazing, gratitude, love..

Must have been the strawberry jam on the doughnut on the first day when calories are to be counted or the spontaneous surya namaskar just at sunset.. something about the moon, and knowing that you can't really catch the moon but that it is okay to try.

Orange sky in the south west and all of a sudden there is some feeling of gratitude for being able to stand in that moment and watch that moon over that coconut tree.
Some stupid thing about feeling that you and the moon are connected and that even though you cannot touch the moon it is still there and it is all okay.

 A night last week the body rebelled after the fruit meal went awry and the body wanted to purge the watermelon. The headache first which paracetmol would not cure. The nausea which the generic zantac did not cure. But all the time, some strange thing about saying.. it will be over at some point. And the headache is the last favourite of my aches. Something about looking beyond the headache and the body's timing.
The body acted 90 minutes after I wanted it to, .. sleep sort of came after.

The next night sleep was deep and even now as I think of the watermelon or whatever it was that kept me awake with the headache, I feel some sort of love for it.

Guyana is a rough place. The world is a rough place. It is easy to be consumed by the rage and the anger and the despair and impotence that things seem to be getting more bizarre. But like how the moon is there, connected with me, but not touching me, so it is with the rage and the anger and the despair and the impotence, there, with me, but all of a sudden not touching me really.  So loving that rage and anger and despair and powerlessness and then trying to think , as some one asked this weekend, creatively if possible.

This is no epiphany. Mental health management brings a lesson that the mood changes quickly or slowly.  This is not ganja which I heard makes people love everybody.  Whatever it is, it feels good. I am grateful for the moon and me talking even though we never meet. And after a long time of not feeling good, that feels good too.


Comments

  1. ImaniDecember 2, 2014 at 8:25 PM

    I will remember this as I look at the moon tonight, from Jamaica <3.

    ReplyDelete

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