5 lessons from cleaning the water tank after a long time

The man laughed when he told me that I would have to jump in the tank to scrub it out good. I could hire him. But it was one of those tasks that had been put off for  a long time, and I needed to do it.

And to make it meaningful, writing about the lessons made up when thinking of it..

1. Time flies - the past condenses
The task had been put off.. next month, next month. It was meant to be an annual task. As I check through, and go through memory, it seems like it was over two and a half years. The water tasted as it always does, like crap, so there was no way of knowing that time had passed and what had happened you think last year, had happened two three years ago, and really and truly, it did not matter.

2. What is supposed to be clean, isn't ..
The man asked whether oil had gotten into the tank.. because the sludge in points was black and looked oily, separate in density from the brown rust sludge. But I put my hand in it and it was not oil. This water which we are told to wash our hands with and to 'clean' with and cook with.. supposed to be clean. And so the cleaning of the pure water tank.. shows that there it was not clean. What else around us supposed to be clean and has muck in it? What is the sludge in my life which would come out if I had to stay still and settle?


3. What looks dirty, might not be ...
The tank is in the yard which recently flooded. The bits of wood and the ancient brick to hold up the tank might have ebola and lepto and cholera on them. So this challenge to keep the inside of the tank pure and clean, while handling the dirt outside and keeping the focus all the time so you don't forget as you handle outside not to put your hand on something which has to go inside the tank to clean without washing. The sludge looks dirty.. but then again,, if it was there, and we are not sick or dead, as far as we know.. maybe that sludge is nutritious, maybe there is nourishment there.. maybe the dead things and the decaying matter are not poisonous after all.

But I will not lick the ancient brick to find out about the flood waters residue...

4. Spontaneous tasks, not routine tasks , also work
Routine they say is good for managing depression. I had to let go of the hope or routine and the expectation of predictability as a way of regaining my mental health. All plans.. for exercise, for eating properly, for structure failed and that would make things worse.  Sense of failure at not being able to commit to a scheduled volunteer assignment. But .. spontaneous tasks, one off tasks, big tasks - they help to show that things are possible and to provide focus for a time while  being useful. the one night stands with work and things provide satisfaction.

5. There is no meaning in cleaning really..
We spend a lot of time cleaning, ironing.. and in doing these things over and over again. Repetition with some tasks, like exercise, prayer,  repetition helps.  Practice might make perfect other things which have to be perfected. We learn that this is supposed to be RE-newal, and RE-juvenation - but is there such a thing as being new again or being young again?
Is there a way to look at these meaning less  tasks as ways of building for the future rather than going back to anything ?

And even the joy of  cleaning the tank, the wistfulness of knowing that it has to be done again next year  and understanding that joy and sorrow are not permanent.