Joy of the light in the active screen of an old laptop




A woman asks 'please for some ideas, new ones, not the regular kind of talk things and could I get it soon for the budge' . Another woman asks' the website is jaded, it needs an uplift.' both asking at times when creativity is difficult . Another request for a different kind of training session and another request for a presentation which will require research and creativity.

So all this new things to get done, but the old laptop which had been down for 18 months or so.. in the mental health thing.. trying to patch and fix.. some irony in that the operating system is called Bodhi Linux . Keypad is damaged but a celebration that the old thing works is some kind of metaphor for rejuvenation.
This with the ironed clothes, the packed wardrobe, the organised bookshelf.. 


 I have this flaw in believing that I could fix everything and keeping things to be fixed. I mend my clothes, rough stitches and refuse to dispose of any stained clothing believing that once it clean it good to go. We doing less and less of that in Guyana I think - quick to discard, even as somethings like the constitution and the democracy structures and so probably need discarding while we need to create the dream and optimism of some Guyana which works .


The threads on this work done by a relative 30 years ago had rotted but then I was able to put back the threads again.. not as neat but the thing is still there and there still.


Patching old things rather than letting go of them.. at the same time when requests come in to do somethings which require intense creativity which the mind cannot attend at this stage but which perhaps the mind should attend to.  Thinking of love in the past too and the attempts to repair and then giving up as I nearly did with the laptop when three or four different things did not work.

The past.. letting go and not letting go and the future not worrying and worrying and meanwhile, finding hope and light in an active screen on an old laptop in the present even as dark curtains need to be torn down if not pushed aside.

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