10 rules of etikwette for my mid forties..

 

Now that mid-forties hit me and with all the pain and so on about, I think it is time to organise some rules of etikwette and manners and so.

1. Knife and fork - I will not eat with knife and fork again and I will not go anywhere where I think I have to eat with knife and fork - unless I getting paid. In fact, these days I tend to say no to lunch and dinner invitations because I am finding it more awkward to eat if is not my plate in front of the TV. I say yes to dessert though because spoon is still easy to use. Eating with fingers is complicated, I can't eat any and everywhere any more especially if they have people around who might pay me as sometimes the food ends up above knuckles on the fingers.  And I clumsy bad, food always falling out the side of my mouth and off the plate and so.
2. Ties - I will not go anywhere with a dress code and I will not wear a tie - even if I am being paid. No more ties. No more Cultural Centre until the drop the dress code.
3. White Lies - No more white lies. I will say as I see it. No more politeness. No more you look nice when you don't. No more asking 'How do you do' when I don't care and no more answering to 'How do you do' when I know people don't really care.
4. Small Talk - No more small talk. I am left mid-sentence and so on all the time. A recent social event had me staring at pictures on the wall and the placemats as others around me talked. I not making small talk . 
5. Social events - this is tricky. I am saying no to weddings and I am saying no to parties and other social events with large groups of people to avoid the above. But now and then very nice people do insist, so I go and will stare at the wall and hug them and kiss them unless I find somebody to share my business card with.
6. No more events promoting people who I think should be more accountable in their public office. So I am saying no to events which I know will have lots of speeches and so on - unless I am being paid. And now and then if the people who ask me why I not coming, I will let them know.
7. I will keep saying Good Morning and Good Afternoon and Please and Thank You even when the people not replying or not paying attention. In the minibus especially - I started yesterday with a nurse who join the bus and who look back at her companion as though I mad to tell her morning. She did not reply. 
8. I will frenz all the people who ask on Facebook except those which look really spammish and those with names of prominent PPP politicians because I aint want nobody say I hacking anybody profile and tiefing dey picture and so.
9. I will no longer unfrenz Facebook frenz who pass me straight on de road even when I say Good Morning/Good afternoon . 
10. I will try to be polite always even when I intend to be rude. I will not accept apologies from anybody since I know my apologies are always insincere