Eucalyptus oil,coconut milk, jasmine and the moon

So you decide to go and do the yoga routine, with the waist feeling stiff and the back feeling weak. After 10 minutes you still cannot get started and you find that your mind is wandering and you have not moved to the first pose and you want to get up.
But something inside says, No, keep at it.. try. Yes the waist is hurting, and your head cannot reach your knees like it used to, but keep at it. And that is how shifting the dark heaviness is sometimes.. faint glimmers of things which say keep moving.
 So some eucalyptus oil to help with the deep breathing because you do not feel like breathing deeply, in fact you do not feel like doing anything. And that is the time when you must do something.


It is not a good time to study. Memory is no longer what it used to be and the Sanskrit words dance in and out of short term memory even if they have had the chance to go behind the dark clouds to stay in the mind.  It is easier to remember the high school French for some reason.

The vacation was good, and a lesson in how joy and sorrow are connected.. joy of course for celebrating adventure, discovery, connections and movement, and sorrow when those moments end and when the environment changes.  The body stiffness comes back and all the promises to eat healthy and exercise more are out of the window.. and the moon is high and you wonder if the bad food is slowing the body down which slows down the mind as well .

Impotence is there.. and whether the impotence causes the mind to feel heavier or the heavy mind causes the impotence is of no concern really, because there are other things to work through slowly.
Impotence, and minor things like noticing that the plants which you had pruned a few months ago seem to be blooming better than when they had dried up. A lot of work needs to be done.  There is a chick in the old nest under the house and a fleeting worry that its mother will not abandon it.

And then the surprise that "Dear Mr Kissoon, Congratulations on winning an inaugural Godfrey Chin Prize For Heritage Journalism. You have been selected as the second prize winner... "


But the yoga routine is completed, it took longer, a bit more pain.. the waist still hurts but the body feels a bit lighter and there is sweat. The mind does not seem so muddled. A friend who had insisted on giving the coconut milk and jasmine petals pampering dove lotion is a blessing because the nice smells, which leave me wanting ice cream and which are definitely what I would want to smell like , the nice smells clear out the mind .
There is a chance to prepare a light meal and every step is taken slowly and the meal is enjoyed.
Here and now, some kind of recovery.. there will be times of relapse, but there will always be recovery.