Writing and not writing..
As life has it I write on the blog and I write letters to the editor and I write on Facebook. (And this is blog post number 400 which is another thing about writing and not writing )
And I will get paid for writing a user manual and after I write a small report which cannot cover the details and experiences in a particular workshop.
I can't seem to write everything.
Like how I can't write about how the two women, elders in their churches talked about equality even though they know they don't like same sex marriage but they have made progress. Like how I can't write about the man who don't want to be an activist but want to be able to do something for his friend who he think is gay but who has not told him anything about that.
Like how I can't write about conversations about corrupt police terrorize some of their neighbours and how not far from where the police live , the neighbours of the lil boy who get shoot by police tell me how nuff young boy is tief and de area and threaten women with rape and I cant write how one woman cussing in the facebook inbox chat because she think I should know these things.. she and me agree that it not right to shoot no suspected thief but there is a powerlessness to know what to do about 'young men at risk' who think that life good for them.
Like how I can't write about the 15 year old girl who drank poison and died six days later without anybody getting her story and how the rapist who kill her and his wife who knew about the rape and the community who know about the rape came to the children and I can't write about the woman who tek a vodka after the funeral when she realise that the people she working with and the children she trying to teach to read might all be hiding stories of rape and violence and she figuring out what to do while there is a beautiful sunset and I want to say go and castrate the rapist but it is like pretend rage because the girl drink the poison in front her grandmother and no social worker was there to get her story but research being done for suicide though.
Like how i can't write about the young woman, who father I know and who ask me to be confident and who is a rape survivor and I wonder if was my daughter what I would do and wondering if I should go and kill the man who molest her , but she say that she just want his parents to know that he is abusive to women. And it make no sense she go to the police.
Like how I can't write about the hypocrisy of the Minister who against homophobia but who picture hanging in class rooms where children get beat. Like how I can't write to tell the women who like the Minister that Yall need to stay far and not get yourself tangle up in stupidness.
Like how I can't write the amazing story which I think is in the letters a domestic in Barbados wrote to her daughter in Guyana .
Like how I can't write about how I wanted to cry when a young man and two lady sing bus into a gospel song at the end of a human rights workshop which talk about accepting 'dese people' wid 'dey lifestyles'.
Like how I can't write about things which nice and uplifting and could make styrofoam floating in the gutter something positive.
Like how I can't write about not writing about IT things which need writing .
Like how I can't write about the woman who want to know if her silence is hypocrisy and how it seems that since hypocrisy is all round , we accept that it is so and then decide we aint gun do nuttin.
Like how I can't write about how I should be writing software instead of blogs or in addition to blogs but my mind can't focus..
Like how I can't write about how I can't write.
So. so sad...don't think I can do what you do- listen/witness people bare their souls, their horrors...then, going to bed knowing that somebody's child, at that very moment, is being ravished by the ugliness of the human species. I, especially, would not be able to endure the sufferings of the innocence. But...I want to...for the kids. :(
ReplyDeleteI dont' think we have a choice really in shutting out as much as we try.. the thing is to ensure that whatever we do when listening or talking is to be useful and not cause any harm..
ReplyDelete*innocents*
ReplyDeleteI agree. Though, knowing what/how to be useful in certain situations and, sometimes, what could be harmful may not always be as simple as it sounds...for some of us.
I think listening helps and also just ensuring safety and help and also encouraging anyone who needs help to go and get it..
ReplyDelete