Concerning the book

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Should I answer the phone? Do you still have my number? Is it a wrong number? How should I answer? Would my voice show my shock? Should I answer the phone? Should I cut it off? Would it ring again after the first disconnect? Should I answer the phone? What should I say when you ask 'how'? Can I make small talk? How do I talk normally to hide that I am glad to hear from you and also sad at the memories of previous times? Do you really want to borrow the book from me? Why did you call me of all people?  Do you want to talk to me? Is the book an excuse to make contact? How could I make this easy for you? What do I do when I get the book? Do I call you? Do I email you? Do I text you? How quickly can I get the book so that I could contact you? How am I going to give you the book? How will I collect the book from you when you are done? Will we talk about the book? Will we ever talk again? Will we ever talk for hours again without boundaries?
How can I write bland sentences to tell you about the book? How can I ask you about your relative with cancer? Is this safe enough? Why haven't you replied to the email? Are you alive? Did someone see the email and delete it? Do you have a filter on my emails to your Trash? Did I do the right thing? Should I have said no I do not have the book and will never lend you the book? Would that be a bad thing?
Should I send the email  again? Why did I send it  again? Why didn't you reply to the email which I sent again?  Don't you want the book? Did you remember that you wanted nothing more to do with me? What should I do if I ever see your number again on the phone?  Did I do the right thing in emailing you? Did I do the right thing in giving you my number all those years ago? Should I have answered the phone?




With apologies to Donald Barthelme

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