8 things about being Happily Single in Guyana

Tell people dat yuh single an' yuh bound to get all kind of question an' comment. If yuh seh yuh single, people gun tink dat yuh waiting pun de 'right one'. So I does seh Happily Single an' all kind of ting does happen.

1. Sumting wrang wid you..
Is true dat we get drum into head dat we not whole or complete unless we have some kind of relationship ting going - wife, husband - some people have outside woman and outside man an' different kind of relationship. But choosing to stay single is as a man tell me , 'heresy'. In a world getting used to ting like 'relationship anarchy' and polyloving. if anybody seh dat dem aint interesting in relationship it would sound wrong.

2. But why...?
Everybody want to know why. I have no idea.. I remember when I first decided that I aint getting married and then as I get more evolved and falling in love and picking myself out of love, at some point I realised that I enjoyed being single. There was a freedom to love and be useful to people and to also work on nice friendships which had not expectations of kuchy coo and teddy bears at valentines. I also learning plenty tings about myself and investing in self care and keeping my mental health. I would be completely messed up if I had to be obligated in any deep and meaningful relationship with another person or persons.

3. So yuh gun be alone fuh de rest of yuh life..? /Duh is de lizard ting..? 
Being Happily Single does not mean being lonely. Being alone is a bit different from being lonely. There are different connections which we have with people. I know that for many people, once they get into relationships, they stop or ease up their friends thing, until they get out relationships and try to connect with people. And some people might wonder if my ting for lizards is part of my disconnect with people.


4. What about chirren?
 Nuff people ask about children. I knew before that I did not want to get married that I had no interest in having children. I hear how I selfish. People evolving slowly. People want to know who gun look after me when I get old. Nothing scares me more than when I hear that people having chirren as a form of investment in the future pension care plan.

5. So whuh gun happen when you like somebady?
Being happily single means that I have fun falling in love all the time without fear or expectation of a relationship. I have enjoyed the company and time spent with people I in love with. Some things changed, some times the time spent was more intense than some of the toxic relationships I hear about and there is till pain at the loss of the connections which were not relationships.
I like the moments when  people start gaffing and when they realise you not interested in a relationship, they stop talking.. with 'something is wrong with you'.


6. But if everybody tink like you...
Fortunately, we do not all think alike . A lot of people are happy in their relationships. Some of them get unhappy, then happy again, then happy again, then unhappy, then they break up and get into other relationships. Some people then stop worrying about being happy in the relationship and just carry along with it because they get used to the person.

7. So you mussee got nuff woman/nuff man ?/ And am, what about sex?
Being Happily Single would probably mean sinning any time you have sex. That is of course if you believe in sin.  It is scary that people go into relationships just to have guarantees of sex.  Some people think that you good for a one night stand without any need for connections or knowing one another name, or for cheating with. They  get surprised when you say you aint deh pun dem tings.  One of the liberating things I have done is not to bother too much with sex and it has meant that it has easy to connect with people I like without thinking if this will end up in sex and what will happen if the sex is good, and if it is not good.There are different ways of being intimate - and one of the experiences of being happily single is discovering the different kinds of intimacy without worrying about orgasms.

I wish I could do the same and liberate myself from sugar.

8. So what is happily single..
There is no one way to  be happily single. There are different ways of connecting with people. Being happily single means being honest in your expectations of whatever connections you form with people. Being happily single means that you can be happy at looking at different people and still burst into smiles at the same time; or feel pain when some of the persons look away after any problems. Being happily single means that you can find ways of nurturing people and redefining commitment without having to worry about 'the relationship'.  Being happily single might not be for everyone, fortunately.