married and ready to mingle


I jump in de bus in de front seet an' i see an open new testament on de dashboard. A picture of Jesus hanging from de mirror and another one behind de steering wheel.

Den I look up over de driver window and I see...
married and ready to mingle

The Lord is my Protector

De music was not gospel. De driver jump in an' seh marnin' I seh.. arite, put on some coolie music nuh. He look at me like if  he in two mind bout de money and de chubble. He put on de coolie music. I tink after what is de point.. dat it not so clear nowadays who playing what music and so on.. but I tired of hearin' bout panty and chi chi man and so on.

I ask de man.. I seh man, how u could married and ready to mingle and den ask de lard fuh protection. He laff an seh is not he own.

We start de journey. Bus man fiddling wid he blackberry. I seh.. lard.. is how dis blackberry  madness reach till to dis bus driver. De man looking at me and I seh.. man.. dont text and drive, like Oprah seh you know.. de bus man look at me an seh dat he not texting.. I sigh..

I fas' though because dis look like a lil romance ting going on. Suh we picking up more passengers.. de bus man gotta decide how much overload. He driving in everywhere, pick up , and put down and den a old man tell me move down, he want sit down. So I have respect fuh elders and I move to de jump seat.

We pass ankerville and I ask bout de murder of Champa. He seh yep.. evil deh, plenty evil deh.  I relieve to see dat he stop blackberrying - so I keeping de gaff going.

Man behind ordering a mix up fry rice from Su-Mamoo pun de phone. De man talking loud.. yeah man, put chicken, poke, alligatuh, everyting. Bus driver seh ow man, talk easy nah man.


Bus man ask me.. so you aint like de sayin pun de window. I laff and seh ow man, you aint see de contradiction. De man laf and ask wheh I teaching. (is why people dont ask me which film I starring in ). I seh nah man. An we talk bout marrid and cheating and suh.

He ask me how lang i marrid, I seh I single. De man eye open an seh.. whuh, why man? I seh just suh. I ask he .. he seh he single but dere is a gyurl. She was finishing school when dey start to tek up two years ago, now she wukin.. but is 8 years difference between dem and he ask me what i tink about dat.

I seh.. well de have 8 years and dey have 8 years. I want to cuss he bout de school gyurl ting but 16 is age of consent. He seh.. yeah.. he now ready fuh settle down but like she ready now fuh enjoy life. I seh.. well suh it guh.. but you tink u could stay wid one woman? Bus man laff an seh.. nah.. you know.. ting easy and hard fuh resist.
so I play holy and seh.. well yuh know. saying No is harder. better you stay single.

He seh.. well true true. I seh yeah.. bus man and suh..

De man at de back holler, aye.. you pass Su Mamoo.. you gah fuh guh back. Bus man seh.. you ain tell me nutting.

So we all reverse and guh to Su Mamoo and pick up de mix fry rice.

I laff. I tell bus man I gat to reach 68 fuh 1 ah clack. (now 115pm). Bus man seh sorry sorry we gun reach just now.. I seh nah nah.. is 68 I gotta reach not heaven.

We gaff , talk about birth month, and chirren and dem ting. I ask de man if he got chirren, he say no he not marrid. I seh.. well you aint gah.. he seh yeah yeah he know but he aint mekin chirren til he marrid.

he ask me if I gun stay just suh.. (yall tink is only woman does get hassle fuh stayin single).. I seh yeah man.


We reach 68 and bus man seh, yeah man, til anodda time.





We gaffin quietly.

Comments

  1. AnonymousDecember 5, 2013 at 8:43 AM

    Vidya! When yuh gon siddung an' write dis book?

    ReplyDelete

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