Karma, spiritual viagra, rejuvenation...
Day 0. I know.. it is 19 more days to the end of a weird year.
Time to get over losses and to also grow. I watch a tree outside which I chopped last week in a kind of frustration and leaf buds are going on it again.
I keep feeling stiffness in the body even with the yoga. It is manageable. The moon I know is moving around and emotions wander. I actually felt the emotions wandering and I realise that the moon is somewhere nearer.
A woman said she is not in a hurry to get the files from her crashed hard drive because she can start over. Another very creative and smart woman said this year finished and she felt that she was supposed to end one life and start another.
Some radical changes forces life readjustments. Loss especially. We have no choice then but to work with the loss.
But the gradual decaying.. the aging body, the spirit which has been wearied by gradual losses and losses which have no ending.. that not so easy to deal with.
The Bhagvad Gita says the soul is indestructible. The flesh and the emotions are not permanent. Creation is a cycle.
Day 0 - I write a nice journal. Not wallowing as the amazing young man mentioned journals could become. I wrote about thinking of rejuvenation, of a time frame really so that the old could die. The old ways of viewing loss and viewing memories of loss I mean should die.
I promise myself that with the body with its constant stiffness and the mind which seems unable to create and is focussed too much on the loss, that new things will be done, reminders of the time before the time when the body was not so stiff and there were no things which had been started so nothing was ended.
It is ambitious, Doable. Prayer and promises are like spiritual viagra .. it seems easy on the pillow staring up at the net with hands clasped across the chest.
Day 1 - Rejuventation. Karma makes jokes. The past is there.. in different ways.. reminders of the connections. A woman wants to tell me something. I try to explain I do not hear. And I am horrified. But I calm down, Rejuvenate is in my mind. Rejuvenate. You do not give a crap and you try to listen because listening is helping.
I express my horror and encourage her to confront her oppressor.
She tells me she is sorry she talked to me. Rejuvenate does not sound good now.
She then continues talking to me though. Rejuvenate is possible now. I was using my old ways.. not the new ways of patience and just being there.
And the man asks me about the discussion groups and whether it is possible to be intellectual. A woman emails to ask about the manuscript.. I laugh, and email and say I will write nothing as much as the 42 pages she asks for.
But that is old thinking. New thinking is that I should be able walk up Mount Roraima and I will write something which is their minimum 42 pages.
New thinking is that I will understand the what might have been and work on the what is and what will be. This is all such new agey crap as I write this instead of writing software code for innovate and exciting application, or essays in online courses to upgrade skills or something in 42 pages to publish.
Old thinking is to feel the jabs of the events which raise up the memories of failure. Rejuvenate though, is to laugh and say .. look at Karma.. you thought you could get away.. but you cannot.
New thinking then.. is working on how you will live with these aspects of the past .. hug it close to you, and carry it with you but find ways of thinking of these aspects so that the pain of the spirit does not match the aches in the body.
Spiritual viagra does not last as long as I hear the real one does. So the spirit has to be nourished with lessons from life and every day for the Rejuvenation before 2014 is going to have sharp jabs from the past which means that I will learn how I change.
So Rejuvenation.. is going to be a process. It looks like there will be more tests to come.. and every time I will check, how am I passing the tests?
One new thing tonight of boiling up some lemon grass tea and mixing with honey and milk. This , after a nice thing which I always do of listening to people singing Christmas music.
I feel good .
Time to get over losses and to also grow. I watch a tree outside which I chopped last week in a kind of frustration and leaf buds are going on it again.
I keep feeling stiffness in the body even with the yoga. It is manageable. The moon I know is moving around and emotions wander. I actually felt the emotions wandering and I realise that the moon is somewhere nearer.
A woman said she is not in a hurry to get the files from her crashed hard drive because she can start over. Another very creative and smart woman said this year finished and she felt that she was supposed to end one life and start another.
Some radical changes forces life readjustments. Loss especially. We have no choice then but to work with the loss.
But the gradual decaying.. the aging body, the spirit which has been wearied by gradual losses and losses which have no ending.. that not so easy to deal with.
The Bhagvad Gita says the soul is indestructible. The flesh and the emotions are not permanent. Creation is a cycle.
Day 0 - I write a nice journal. Not wallowing as the amazing young man mentioned journals could become. I wrote about thinking of rejuvenation, of a time frame really so that the old could die. The old ways of viewing loss and viewing memories of loss I mean should die.
I promise myself that with the body with its constant stiffness and the mind which seems unable to create and is focussed too much on the loss, that new things will be done, reminders of the time before the time when the body was not so stiff and there were no things which had been started so nothing was ended.
It is ambitious, Doable. Prayer and promises are like spiritual viagra .. it seems easy on the pillow staring up at the net with hands clasped across the chest.
Day 1 - Rejuventation. Karma makes jokes. The past is there.. in different ways.. reminders of the connections. A woman wants to tell me something. I try to explain I do not hear. And I am horrified. But I calm down, Rejuvenate is in my mind. Rejuvenate. You do not give a crap and you try to listen because listening is helping.
I express my horror and encourage her to confront her oppressor.
She tells me she is sorry she talked to me. Rejuvenate does not sound good now.
She then continues talking to me though. Rejuvenate is possible now. I was using my old ways.. not the new ways of patience and just being there.
And the man asks me about the discussion groups and whether it is possible to be intellectual. A woman emails to ask about the manuscript.. I laugh, and email and say I will write nothing as much as the 42 pages she asks for.
But that is old thinking. New thinking is that I should be able walk up Mount Roraima and I will write something which is their minimum 42 pages.
New thinking is that I will understand the what might have been and work on the what is and what will be. This is all such new agey crap as I write this instead of writing software code for innovate and exciting application, or essays in online courses to upgrade skills or something in 42 pages to publish.
Old thinking is to feel the jabs of the events which raise up the memories of failure. Rejuvenate though, is to laugh and say .. look at Karma.. you thought you could get away.. but you cannot.
New thinking then.. is working on how you will live with these aspects of the past .. hug it close to you, and carry it with you but find ways of thinking of these aspects so that the pain of the spirit does not match the aches in the body.
Spiritual viagra does not last as long as I hear the real one does. So the spirit has to be nourished with lessons from life and every day for the Rejuvenation before 2014 is going to have sharp jabs from the past which means that I will learn how I change.
So Rejuvenation.. is going to be a process. It looks like there will be more tests to come.. and every time I will check, how am I passing the tests?
One new thing tonight of boiling up some lemon grass tea and mixing with honey and milk. This , after a nice thing which I always do of listening to people singing Christmas music.
I feel good .
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