A Hindu Perspective : Positive masculinities as a significant step in ending Gender Based Violence

(The United Nationals Population Fund (UNFPA) in Guyana engaged in a consultative dialogue with faith based organisations on 19th June, 2013 in Georgetown, Guyana. This is the rough text of a presentation which was made as part of a panel on perspectives related to the ICPD Programme of Action  )

Namaste - which means I bow to the divine in you. I also am a bit nervous as I contemplate that I am talking from behind a pulpit to persons who are accustomed to speaking from pulpits or singhasanas, so please bear with me.

Hinduism is diverse, so this is rightfully - a Hindu perspective. I think however that many Hindus would agree with some of these perspectives.

The topic is interesting as it starts with the issue of Positive masculinities - contemplating I think that there is a diversity in masculinity, and that some of it is not good. I have never heard of positive femininity though - and I wonder if it is because each woman or female struggles in finding their way in a society which overwhelmingly places lesser value on women is recognised as the complete feminine.

I am conscious on the way to this forum  of two traffic policemen looking and following a young school girl, probably 11 or 12 years old and I wonder how many of us men will speak out against the sexual harassment of women and girls which our brothers engage in, thinking that it is normal.

I think of the "kick in she back door song' and sister florice and sister hot skull from Bagotstown who put on a 'kick in she back door dance' and I wonder how many men ask for the music to be changed which turn sex into war in which women are often the losers.


I tried to find in the Hindu philosophy any kind of reflection on what it is to be a man. I know there are some figures like Rama who put his wife Seeta out in the forest (he might have been a better son and king than husband and a lot of us men do not get to question that role.Women are also told that they must be like Sita, rather than like Durga)

It is perhaps that there is no perfect man as a role model and that we can aspire to a kind of positive humanity.

So I reflect then on the Yamas and the Niyamas as a guide for what positive  masculinity would look like from  a Hindu perspective.

The Yamas and Niyamas are part of a system of living espoused in Hinduism. The 10 Yamas (from Wikipedia) are

1. Ahimsa (अहिंसा): Nonviolence. Abstinence from injury that arises out of love for all, harmlessness, the not causing of pain to any living creature in thought, word, or deed at any time. This and Satya (सत्य) are the "main" yama. The other eight are there in support of its accomplishment.
2. Satya (सत्य): truthfulness, word and thought in conformity with the facts, honesty.
3. Asteya (अस्तेय): non-stealing, non-coveting, non-entering into debt.
4. Brahmacharya (ब्रह्मचर्य): being constantly aware of the universe, immersed in divinity, divine conduct, continence, celibate when single, faithfulness when married.
5. Kshama (क्षमा): patience, releasing time, functioning in the now.
6. Dhriti (धृति): steadfastness, overcoming non-perseverance, fear, and indecision; seeing each task through to completion.
7. Daya (दया): compassion; conquering callous, cruel and insensitive feelings toward all beings.
8. Arjava (अर्जव): honesty, straightforwardness, renouncing deception and wrongdoing.
9. Mitahara (मितहार): moderate appetite, neither eating too much nor too little; nor consuming meat, fish, shellfish, fowl or eggs.
10. Shaucha (शौच): purity, avoidance of impurity in body, mind and speech. (Note: Patanjali's Yoga Sutras list Shaucha as the first of the Niyamas.)

The ten traditional Niyamas are:

1. Hri: remorse, being modest and showing shame for misdeeds;
2. Santosha: contentment; being satisfied with the resources at hand - therefore not desiring more;
3. Dana: giving, without thought of reward;
4. Astikya: faith, believing firmly in the teacher, the teachings and the path to enlightenment;
5. Ishvarapujana: worship of the Lord, the cultivation of devotion through daily worship and meditation, the return to the source;
6. Siddhanta shravana: scriptural listening, studying the teachings and listening to the wise of one's lineage;
7. Mati: cognition, developing a spiritual will and intellect with the guru's guidance;
8. Vrata: sacred vows, fulfilling religious vows, rules and observances faithfully;
9. Japa: recitation, chanting mantras daily;
10. Tapas: the endurance of the opposites; hunger and fullness, thirsty and quenched, hot and cold, standing and sitting etc.

In dealing with a positive masculinity, I think some of the tenets here are important.

First Ahimsa or non-violence. Any real Hindu man I think should not be dealing in violence towards any woman, but not only women, any child. I think it is wrong for any man to want to hit children for any reason. As we talk about non-violence, I am conscious that in the debate about beating children in schools, the faith based organisations are going to be part of those who wish to preserve this form of violence.

How can we speak about ending gender based violence , while still thinking it is okay to hit children, those who are weakest in the population?

The issue of Satya.. as many of us men are taught to lie and not to be truthful. Many of us think that 'cheating' in our relationships is a part of being manly, while others like to pretend, and to hide what is real rather than deal with issues. Perhaps this is a simplistic interpretation of Satya.

Speaking about Brahmcharya or sexual restraint or celibacy is troublesome for masculinity. There is subtle pressure for men to be promiscuous and I am conscious of how among my Hindu brothers, the tales of sexual behaviour are usually counter to any idea of promiscuity. And celibacy is laughed at .. suitable only for mandir talk. And if (heterosexual) men learn that it is okay to say no to sex and not to feel that they are powerless before any women and therefore have to be violent to control their desires, then we can talk real manhood. But it is difficult, in the age of viagra, and real men drinking mackeson to imagine Brahmcharya. Discussions about sexuality are often not honest and men live dual lives, some preaching one thing while practising another. Gay men in religious organisations  sometimes get married as a way of covering up and the duality prevents the kind of honesty which is prescribed here. How do we as men learn to live authentic lives with integrity?

Compassion is another quality which we do not understand and one again, which we expect from others but we know is difficult. In an age of increasing violence, trying to preach compassion to men who are told that they must be men and react violently when they feel that their masculinity is threatened is difficult. The issue of moderation - and I think of alcohol use and men, and how there are more promotions to ensure that men drink liquor rather than not drink liquor. And that young men and boys especially are the target of these campaigns, even as men and boys using liquor are the instruments of a great deal of the violence.

Remorse is not something many of us are familiar with in our dealings . Many men hold on to their attitudes and refuse to change. Some try to say sorry but to pass blame on those who were violated.  Many want forgiveness, but we do not know that repentance and redemption are part of the forgiveness process. Those who expect women to forgive those who have wronged them, should know that the abusers should also change. Forgiveness does not mean absolution from justice.

Many Guyanese men would probably say they belong to one religion or another. However, the practice of individual spirituality would help in all of us men liberating ourselves from the desire to own, and control those who we think are weaker than us.

There is a tendency to blame victims, and we have to stop doing that. We have to challenge the sexist behaviour of men around us. Swam Aksharananda on a Plain Talk interview earlier this year spoke clearly against the blaming of victims of  rape.
All religious leaders should be doing the same, and should be calling on men especially to ensure that rapists are brought to justice and that rape is not seen as a sign of positive masculinity.



Jackson Katz , American activist had prescribed 10 things which men can do to end gender based violence.  These are simple for us men to think about. They include us accepting that gender based violence is a man's problem as well. We are asked not to fund sexism, to speak out against sexism, to speak out against homophobia since homophobia and sexism are linked, to give support to women who are seeking justice and to also keep our minds open and listen and learn more from the women around us.

The work which FBOs have been doing has been focused on raising awareness and providing services for women who have survived rape, domestic violence, sexual  harassment and other forms of gender based violence. The next level of work requires involving men and boys and holding them accountable for the transformations needed to create real men who do not feel threatened by women and who do not need to resort to any kind of abuse or violence to show that they are men.
Thanks for listening.
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During the question and answer session , some issues came up.

1. Definition of Gender Equality - some of the FBO representatives felt that gender equality that men and women are the same. Gender equality is recognised as the equal valuing by society of the similarities and differences of roles and characteristics of being a woman or a man. Regardless of their gender, all individuals must have equal conditions that lead them to have equal opportunities for realizing their full human rights and for contributing to, and benefiting from, economic, social, cultural and political development.  ((http://www.unoy.org )

2. Gay men and positive masculinity - I noted that many cultures had diversity in sexual orientation and gender identity and that we should be looking into our own cultures and history before condemning homosexuality. I referred to the Uttarkand 87 of the Ramcharitmanas where Lord Rama refers to men , women and those who are neither.
I also noted that I believe the Hindu ethics apply across the board, regardless of whether a man is gay or straight, and hence the idea of positive masculinity could also apply to a gay man.


3. Abortion -  Many FBOs are against abortion. I said that I do not like the idea of abortion and I do not expect any woman to have to abort my child. I believe that all men who are against abortion should listen to the stories, and deal with the men who contribute to the decision of women to abort. The issues of unwanted pregnancy, rape, coercive sex, unprotected sex all involve men and that men who are against abortion should work to ensure that women are also not penalised for being mothers, especially 'single' mothers. Men should be advocating for family planning and be involved in family planning.