Dear SASODomites, friends, enemies and frenemies of the LGBT movement in Guyana

Dear SASODomites, friends, enemies and frenemies of the LGBT movement in Guyana

Twice in the last week I had the painful experience of looking into and looking way from the scornful eyes of a former loved one, When relationships end, initial feelings of grief, relief, lightness, despair sometimes give way to a desire for a closure which could help to motivate persons forward.

And so it has been with SASOD. 

I resigned last June , dealt with the grief and celebrated being civil with those whose views on accountability, trust and respect were different from mine.

The Bhagavad Gita says we should not become attached to the fruits of our actions. I gradually let go of the hopes and dreams I had for SASOD and the LGBT movement in Guyana , easier than it has been to let go of the hope for a peaceful reconciliation with the former loved one .

But the recent events - resignations, cuss outs - public and private, and other discoveries have drawn me in and in mourning, I have raised back the hopes and dreams I thought I had resolved. 

I hoped that SASOD and the LGBT movement  would have been a driving example for what Guyana could be like in terms of respect for difference, leadership responsibility and accountability.

I call for the radical changes within SASOD and the LGBT movement in Guyana which are necessary to build a truly democratic Guyana.

I remember wincing when one of the trustees told a staff member around the time of the National Elections.. 'Know your Place' .

I know my place. I am outside of SASOD, I have no influence. No one in SASOD owes me anything.

Stacy Gomes though, in her wonderfully blunt way reminded me recently 'You are responsible. You had a chance to stop the decline years ago and you did not'

This weekend I learnt to my horror, that a transparent process I initiated last year was undermined in ways beyond my imagination. I endorsed the results of that process feeling that all of the persons involved were familiar with the transparency discussions in Guyana and that SASOD was doing things well. The only peace I have is that the person affected the most by the results of this process has absolved me of any responsibility.

I still feel responsible to all of the people inside and outside of SASOD who nurtured and taught me and who gave critical feedback and support to ensure that I remained accountable.

I call now for the LGBT movement and SASOD trustees and members and associates and enemies who are working on a democratic Guyana, to recognise democracy starts with us.

While the donors, media, embassies and other allies call on national governments to be accountable and transparent and democratic, there should be similar calls for civil society organisations to do the same. The donors, media , embassies while identifying who speaks for who, has to understand that there are different organisations and different unorganised individuals (not me) who are also quietly active and creating radical change.

The LGBT spectrum includes those who are building homes and settling down, those who are having access to resources , those who do not have access to resources and have to confront homophobia daily and those who are seeking asylum from Guyana.

Homophobia was the reason the early days to create an organisation structured in such a way in which vocal self-appointed trustees spoke for silent others.. as Ruel Johnson remarked again recently – “the only LGBT organisation with no gay people in it.”

But things have changed. Ryon Rawlins is one of my heroes. He and I disagree on many things but his story is in the Stabroek News and he speaks publicly when asked. Sadly. instead of him being one of the new visible and active faces of the successes of the LGBT movement, he is now separated from SASOD.

There are others who are speaking out and living “authentically” to quote Swami Aksharnanda. They are not voiceless as Zenita/SASOD wrote in an article in March this year .

Now is the time for the LGBT organisations to celebrate this kind of speaking out, to build democracy within so that these persons who are no longer voiceless could assume visible leadership positions , through a process of elections and not appointment and that others could learn how to break their silences.

More importantly, as we call for different kind of democracy in Guyana, young organisations like SASOD can lead the way in terms of the ethics of accountability, transparency and democratic participation it calls for in its own leadership.

My early days at SASOD were wonderful because, the challenges were immaterial as we saw how Guyana provided a fertile ground for breaking the barriers of homophobia. There was great fun and laughter all round (as there are in the beginning of many romantic relationships). 

My memories of my last days at SASOD were about the ugly traits of Guyana and the organising in Guyana. The power struggles took over. Respect was seen as a sign of weakness in some, power came from manipulating by some of the other's need for recognition, safety and resources for survival. As sometimes happen before the end of some romantic relationships.

I am a fool with a lot of hopes.

I hope that one day my former loved one and I will meet and talk and close things off peacefully and in the future at least look at each other and laugh and be civil.

I hope that the SASODomites, and other friends, enemies and frenemies of the LGBT Guyana movement will give up the desire to own any of the fruits of the actions of the movement (recognition, celebrity, validation, trips, limelight, jobs, cocktail party invitations) and be bound instead by a sense of mutual obligation.

I hope that those who are relishing the cussing out will think of Nigel Lowe's being beaten to death in Sophia and his body prepared for burning, and work on the less entertaining, less satisfying, nonviolent ways of sharing your truths which are to bring about changes through destruction of bad qualities rather than destruction of people.

I hope that the donors, embassies, media and other allies will ensure that the full range of LGBT issues are represented from all individuals who are in organisations and individuals who are not organised.

I have these hopes because of an ongoing conversation I have with a young man whose previous interactions on Facebook were extremely homophobic.

Some changes happened, and he wrote this in a conversation he started with me “I have been thinking about my position as it relates to homosexuality and I realized I was wrong and stubborn.... My apologies.. I realized One Love is exactly that. No exceptions. “

 (No , I dont tink he deh suh)

If that is the kind of change we expect from people who are homophobic, that is the change we should expect from our complacent and scared selves and those whose performance as leaders in the movement have not been up to standard.

One love,

Vidya