Sweet and milky lemon and ginger tea.....
The spirit is low , the body cannot stretch to do the yoga to raise the spirits.
Mind races.. and reminders of the childhood things which are not overcome.. the cussing up again about the broken marriage; the reminders about the health crises.
Forget the spirit says.. no regrets the friend says.. none so every moment which is a reminder.
There is extra ginger in the lemon and ginger tea. I had stolen this or taken this from a tea buffet at some work shop somewhere. Add milk, not usual for herbal tea, but with sugar. There is some breeze and something about this ginger which warms as it soothes. The moments are past. I try to invoke a kind of forgetting.. an artist said that Alzheimer's must be something when you completely forget everything and can only live in the exact moment starting life every second again.
No regrets. Letting go. An exchange results in an tears which are bitten back.. swallowed.. hidden in pepper eaten tears and water to drink and coughs. Calm is restored.. I do no damage. I have to be careful that I do no damage.
Letting go is important. No regrets. It is true.. there must be a careful way of trying to learn though.. without feeling bad.
Functioning is good. I set up the knowledge event, daring in a way which is probably bipolar manic. I share information which is requested. I deal with other requests for information . I try to tell a man who is in need of counselling that I cannot provide it, and give information for referrals. It seems to work temporarily. I have to be careful how not to be harsh.
The place is bright and hot and humid and I try to stretch on the bench to imagine what it would be like in a dark and cool room to lie down and sleep forever. The phone rings though. I do not answer.
The tea does not have a real lemon taste as such. The ginger and milk is good.
The tea takes its effects. Breeze dries the face out. I start thinking of the things which have to be done again.
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