Positive steps for mental health on a Wednesday
I just emailed and asked if I could postpone some work because I have slowed down a bit and have had to reschedule some things.
Accepting who you are
Yep.. this is nice and accepting people for who they are is also a nice thing to do. Depression is often about feelings of inadequacy and anger at that inadequacy.
You could think though about chicken and egg.. which comes first.. and then spend a lot of time unravelling it out with expensive counsellors or frustrated friends.
One of the things about accepting who you are with mental health, is acknowledging it, and working with it and not being ashamed or angry about it.
Thinking of it like a cold. And recognise the limitations that the mental health imposes on you.. and also ensuring that what you perceive as your limitations are not what causing the mental health issues. Sometimes accepting who you are also means a struggle with some people around you who have different expectations - decision is really how we decide to manage those expectations.
Talking about it
Definitely important to talk about it.. and blogging and journalling is good to do
because you can bore people or frighten them with seeming never ending circles of not being well.
I am also aware that I might become codependent on people who might appear to be sympathetic and then become angry at that codependency.
It has been funny, as I read my journal.. and browse through the years, to see how sometimes the same day I had the same feelings recorded four years ago.
That's the pit.
That tends to put a kind of thing of like.. hey hey.. write something good, for today.. anything.. the food that you eat, the cane juice, anything new.. focus on a different thing which says the journals are different from 'today i felt miserable and angry'.
Keeping active
Yep.. exercise.. walk, walk walk.. even if you do not feel like walking. I know, I have shuffled sometimes.. and I see other people moving as though they are dazed or with the kind of bland smiles on their faces. I have walked that way a few times and then gradually increased. But exercise, simple one, walk instead of take a minibus, walk in the sun with some breeze on the face.. it helps. I know that I have sometimes done the exercising routines and still feel a bit down afterwards.. but at least the body is healthy. A man I know, he runs every day or as often as he could.. so at least his body is fit even as he copes with his own mental health issues. One of the things though, is that sometimes.. the mind could be separate from the body, so I have gone through some exercise routines, or when running.. with my mind on other things.
Important to also not overeat.. for the first time in about 20 years, I have clothes which not fitting me.
Learning new skills
This is good, to try and learn new things.. except though.. if the goal is not reached it could lead to further feelings of inadequacy. I also think it is good to probably improve on existing skills.. depending on the energy level.. to find things to celebrate. I facilitated a session a few days ago, and it did not go as well as it should have and so it means that some of my skills have to be honed and improved. A previous session had gone well so maybe over confidence with a different group with plenty of opinions resulted in some slippages.
The depression though means that some learning activities might not be sustained. I hear gardening is good.. a man told me he fixed up his organic planting and so on. I tried with my plants.. to revive them.. but well nothing more depressing than watching green leaves turn dry and fall off no matter how you sort out the soil and so on. But my fingers always had blight.
Keeping in touch with friends
I wrote about friends and others. Always a good idea to reach out, nurture and where possible to be nurtured. I always am careful about codependency though. Another man I know wrote about how the rejection of people can also make things worse, so in a way, it is important to know who to reach out to when things are bad.
A man I knew in University used to talk about 'heh heh' friends.. the ones who are for the laughs and the jokes and so on, but not for when things are bad - except maybe funerals. One of my friends is a woman with a very unrestrained musical laugh.. and hearing that laugh is great medicine when things are low.
As I manage mental health issues, I also let people know how I am doing when they ask.. some of them do regret asking, some are concerned without minimising while others want to learn and know how to be helpful.
Doing something creative
Yep.. I was never good at art and I have no sense of aesthetics. But I bought a cheap camera and have thought of doing things with photos.
Being creative can be many things. I had a chance to hear a wonderful presentation from Jean -Michael Ekeblad about design.. and finding new ways of using old materials. And I kept thinking of how I deal with some of the issues.. about whether I don't turn myself upside down and look at them differently .
And I do not want to keep being creative at baking chocolate cake in different ways all the time.
I also have to work on a visual CV.. a work in progress - part of the recovery, reflection , consolidation of skills and expertise and my ability to try to sell myself.
Getting involved
Oh yeah.. nothing like joining up with a group and doing something .. and being conscious of how you are doing the work and what is happening to you as do it.
The People's Parliament picket on Monday was wonderful.. and there was a lot of room for venting.. for finding ways in overcoming feelings of powerlessness. I did not want to shout and cuss up any of the Members of Parliament.. but standing in the sun, with the lil breeze blowing.. it felt good that day to join with some other 'mad' people and feel that some points could be made.
Relaxing
This is difficult when you have a lot to do and when things do not get done on time. But I am learning since August, now, to be able to drop the work things, to find ways of relaxing. Reading is difficult since concentration is difficult. There is the kind of relaxation which yearns for cool dark place and just not move for awhile.. there might be other kinds of relaxation which should be nourishing. Meditation is supposed to be good for those who know how to do it... it takes practice.
And if I do not feel like doing anything, I do not.
Asking for help
Yep..all the time. Now I have been open with work colleagues as well to explain that I need to shift activities to deal with issues. Mental health support in Guyana is very limited, or expensive. There is stigma attached to mental health so asking for help could be a dangerous thing. My levels of testosterone also mean that I am also determined to work through on this to show that I can do it and so on.
Surviving
Functioning, earning a living, interacting with people. Waking up, sleeping. It is good to stay in the present, even though there are past actions which impact on what is happening now.
I remember a woman talking about her mother's Alzheimer's disease..about what it must be like to have no memory of anybody or anything.
The past cannot be fixed .. that is a cliche and we hear we should not live in the past. I do that a lot.. brooding they say it is.. more so as not to avoid mistakes. I also have this thing in my head.. conversations with people from whom I am estranged.. what would I say to them, what would they ask me.. what if .. what if.. what if..
None of this is good of course.. and sometimes, you just have to bring the mind back to the present and go brush your teeth. Survival is supposed to be instinctive but not always.
Resilience, Thriving
Resilience.. the bouncing back, the ability to recover from mishaps and other things. This is good, to work on. When I have had nasty headaches I always wonder what the hell it is like without a headache. Resilience for mental health I think is working towards a life in which we have good mental health and could imagine what that feels like.
Thriving.. yep.. nice happy face in a nice scene. Living, surviving.. in managing mental health.. how to just move beyond getting through the hours of the day.
When I imagine thriving, it means being able to get up in the morning and stretch and jump out of the bed. It means being able to feel energised to get through the task lists and to produce and be creative.
It means being able to interact with people rather than avoiding conversations. It means letting go of the relationships which did not work and to let go of the expectations that things will change with them without feeling a failure.
It means being able to learn and doing things in a new way.
Thriving I imagine would be maintaining a sense of humour and not take myself too seriously. Thriving would mean being able to express views clearly and be able to engage on them without feeling tired of some of the arguments.
Thriving for me would mean more writing about other things other than fighting with myself.
Thriving is not in the poster -
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