Provocative eulogies, caring and moving on..

The men stopped me on the road, both 'high' but wanting to gaff. One of them had passed me before and asked if I needed a lift. That is the thing with the Rupununi, you never pass people who walking.

The men started gaffing and wanted to know what I was doing. I told them I was doing a website and they wanted to see it.
I took out the laptop from the bag and showed them the website which was far from complete. They liked it - but I not sure if that is the alcohol or their real views.

The Rupununi is good for the soul. The break was good. This long bricky road I walked on.. it takes longer but it felt good to walk on it in the evening.

Walking on this road, I started to feel good again, planning life, work, getting things back in order after months of painful separations and other losses. Everything was now behind me, I think everything was in order.


Eulogies

I come back to town and I see the SASOD eulogy. A man emailed for the third time to ask me about resignation and why I dont stay and so on - and every reply I have sent to him is not acknolwedged.
A bit unfortunate that the Eulogy was included with the welcome to the new Secretary. I reacted instantly.. since I am not dead I believe that I could comment on my eulogies especially when the separation from SASOD was fraught. And as I sought to engage the writers of the eulogy to withdraw their eulogy, I smiled as the tragic script played out and I was reminded of why I resigned in the first place.  The Rupununi seemed far away as I watched that, but lessons learned.. this separation is still not behind me.

Caring conversations with bitter ending
The new phone not working good, I also lost my good old Motorola F3 which I have had since 2007.  Irony of ironies that the first missed call was from a former friend. I tried to text an apology. That did not go and then there was a brief email exchange.. started out no doubt by some desire to connect and which ended again bitterly as the conversations and encounters have done for the last years or so. I thought of the mountains and the savannah and the birds on the grass and the red bricky road and thinking of how life was going to move on.  I sent an apology, something I always do..the apology never accepted.. the tragic script plays out.


Life after this
The seawall was good.. not as vast as the savannah. I could never make up my mind which I would rather be in.  While in the Rupununi, I witnessed this amazing design presentation which talked about innovating and looking at things upside down and turning things around in creative ways. A friend today posted on his facebook "Karmic adjustment - it's good thing. It's the genuine attempt to correct the wrongs we may have committed and in the process change the way we think, speak and act. It's a good thing. "

 So good lessons today - some scripts played out as expected and my reactions of sadness were all part of that script.  I ate all the crunchy things in the house..and had sugar. None of this was part of the plan from the road in the Rupununi. 

 However , good lessons though in terms of the karmic adjustment..  the wrongs have been corrected more or less , and now to change some of future actions and thoughts as I ensure that I could be productive and function well.




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