Well living today to not fear the future..

One thing of reaching past 40, is that the memory is still strong to remember what dreams and aspirations we would have had..and thinking of how things have progressed or changed or remained the same.


This poem , quoted so many times,
"
Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course lie all the verities
And realities of your existence
The bliss of growth,
The glory of action,
The splendor of beauty,
For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision;
But today, well lived, makes every yesterday
A dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.

~ Sanskrit poem attributed to Kalidasa, "Salutation to the Dawn"

When I was young, I looked forward to the future.. to being fearless and doing my own thing and being self reliant. Social responsibility kicked in and there were additional joys of seeing that it was possible to contribute to efforts to create a better place.

Now though.. while thinking of what has been done well.. thinking of all the challenges yet to be faced and wondering now.. what well living today for the future?  Well living now means to get through the day, to catch up, to face up to the past which might have not been so well lived.. and now having to deal with figuring out a future which is hopeful.

It not easy.. since the days role one into another as we get older. Well living seems to mean surviving.. for me.. indulging in chocolate, condensed milk, ice cream, cake, fudge.. while battling now the various physical and mental results of the unwell lived yesterdays.

The next generation.. children.. wondering what the future would be like for them and wondering if I am part of creating this better future for them. Legacies.. organisations and groups which consumed my energy and time and which provided much joy.. some dead, others near dying, and one important one in an interesting crisis where the need is great but the group of people are tired of each other.

Love.. now laughing and wondering at how all of the loved ones are now completely out of the life and inaccessible.. and while some others their marriages and relationships have survived, others have failed as we have worked through our well lived days into the future.

One of the things which is shocking now.. is that in this kind of weird zone.. that the future is now, that the past is now being realised; and that at the same time .. there is now this uncertain future of diminished abilities, of reduced capacities to manage relationships, to enjoy the hobbies. People say .. be careful with the self-fulfilling prophecies.. so while I try to counter the fears.. and think I will win the lottery and I will be dancing in the Himalayas .. I feel the blows and wonder back if I some of the things which I had done were the right things as I thought.
How do I decide now.. that what choices.. as I survive .. to get through, the days.. on how to live well?

Cold cane juice and a brownie works well for now.. if I had the damned condensed milk it would have been excellent living.

Comments

  1. Good stuff buddy keep writing and age gracefully. We are all in the same bus.

    ReplyDelete

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