I want to walk in the sun..
"Hey.. do you want a drop down.. I going your way"... driver .. intimate from the past.. who had abruptly cut out when something changed .. and sent messages once a year which said 'hi and bye, busy busy'
Me.. "Nah, I want to tek a walk in the sun"
It hit me today.. as I enjoyed the walk in the sun , how friendships and acquaintances and facebook frenz evolve and how things change as we grow older. I used to think that once I made a friend.. that there would be some kind of contact and that there would be some knowledge that even after long periods, there would be time to connect and continue without any expectations and just have laffs.
I wondered if I am childish in the 'best friend/no longer best friend' switches.. but then I hear from other guys of friendships which ended.. sometimes for unknown reasons, or for arguments, or through distance, change of work, change of religion, change of partner. As adults, they also feel concerned (something must be wrong.. he wife aint want he talk to we no more.. he might be dead.. he depressed.. he vex with we and aint telling we why..).
I learned that the counselling skills are good.. and that some people need to be listened to for a time and then to move on. That ending time is not always easy to recognise, and I now learn that it is good to end the 'friendship' when the need has been exhausted. There was a saying.. some friends are for a reason, some for a season and some for life. Getting older means being able to manage those relationships.. and to know how to let people understand when the season is over or the reason has been fulfilled. I had a friend who told me he edited his address book every New Year's day to remove contacts. I see some people on Facebook 'cleaning up their friends lists'.
I also have started to let people know.. that it is okay.. time to go.. no need for the platitudes of 'I have been busy' or 'I have been meaning to call you.. ' or 'Sorry we could not meet up.." .. and that there is no need to worry about maintaining a connection when there is no longer need for one. One or two people have said the same to me as well when the time has ended and their interests and values have changed. I like that honesty, and while I might be disappointed , it is much better than to be left hanging.. wondering if everything is alrite.
However .. karma is funny.. so I do not delete the contacts or the addresses because things may come up . I like when old acquaintances are renewed even briefly. And for those who have preferred to end their connection with me without explanation.. I will walk in the sun and the rain without you.
Me.. "Nah, I want to tek a walk in the sun"
It hit me today.. as I enjoyed the walk in the sun , how friendships and acquaintances and facebook frenz evolve and how things change as we grow older. I used to think that once I made a friend.. that there would be some kind of contact and that there would be some knowledge that even after long periods, there would be time to connect and continue without any expectations and just have laffs.
I wondered if I am childish in the 'best friend/no longer best friend' switches.. but then I hear from other guys of friendships which ended.. sometimes for unknown reasons, or for arguments, or through distance, change of work, change of religion, change of partner. As adults, they also feel concerned (something must be wrong.. he wife aint want he talk to we no more.. he might be dead.. he depressed.. he vex with we and aint telling we why..).
I learned that the counselling skills are good.. and that some people need to be listened to for a time and then to move on. That ending time is not always easy to recognise, and I now learn that it is good to end the 'friendship' when the need has been exhausted. There was a saying.. some friends are for a reason, some for a season and some for life. Getting older means being able to manage those relationships.. and to know how to let people understand when the season is over or the reason has been fulfilled. I had a friend who told me he edited his address book every New Year's day to remove contacts. I see some people on Facebook 'cleaning up their friends lists'.
I also have started to let people know.. that it is okay.. time to go.. no need for the platitudes of 'I have been busy' or 'I have been meaning to call you.. ' or 'Sorry we could not meet up.." .. and that there is no need to worry about maintaining a connection when there is no longer need for one. One or two people have said the same to me as well when the time has ended and their interests and values have changed. I like that honesty, and while I might be disappointed , it is much better than to be left hanging.. wondering if everything is alrite.
However .. karma is funny.. so I do not delete the contacts or the addresses because things may come up . I like when old acquaintances are renewed even briefly. And for those who have preferred to end their connection with me without explanation.. I will walk in the sun and the rain without you.
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