SUBJECT : APPRECIATION SCRUTINY
V E R Y VERY S E C R E T - DO N O T L E AK EL DORADO 0000000000000
SUBJECT: APPRECIATION SCRUTINY
REF: A. EL DORADO non
B. ELDORADO sens
Classified By: [This is a complex case and we have added another agent on this matter. We need a code name which is not used often, a name which would reflect the national identity, the rarity, the cultural heritage of El Dorado. Political Officers Cassava Ball and Sour have joined with Konkie. Konkie has put her long blond hair in dreadlocks and befriended a taxi driver and a minibus driver so has good intelligence networks] Classification : DO NOT LEAK : for no apparent reason.
1. (C) SUMMARY : The Embassy has been puzzled by the 'Appreciation' being planned for the Supreme Leader/Champion/President. We have received invitations and seek advice on whether we should attend.END SUMMARY
2. (C) The Embassy received an unmarked package of invitations and VIP banners for an Appreciation Day. We scanned the envelope without opening it.
3. (C) The Embassy immediately informed the El Dorado Police Force that there seemed to be a threat on the life of the Supreme Leader/President/Champion since a funeral was being planned for him. Konkie had just come from an Appreciation Service for the second cousin of the third child-mother of the step-father of the child of the first child-mother of the minibus driver.
4. (U) The El Dorado Police Force said that it was not a funeral - not in the traditional sense. Konkie, Cassava Ball and Sour went on the road to find out. The ladies who begged with their children did not know about this kind of funeral. The children who skipped school because they did not have food did not know. Cassava Ball and Sour checked at the hospital and the man with blood on his face who had been waiting for three hours to see an emergency doctor did not know. Konkie went up to a woman wearing dark shades in a Cruiser with tinted windows. When Konkie tapped on her window , the woman pointed a gun at her. Konkie thought she saw a VIP invitation in the vehicle but could not confirm.
5. (VC) Please delete this after you have read. It seems as though instead of waiting for the Supreme Leader/Champion/President to die and then do the eulogies and so on, a group of civil society people.. many of whom have been trained and participated in our democracy and governance initiatives - have begged the Supreme leader/Champion/President to give him the eulogies before he leaves office. This is a new custom. The fear is that given the fat pension to ensure a healthy and long life; that when the man does die.. people would not remember who he was at his funeral. The country has a problem with forgetting its past Presidents and their legacies.
6. (U) Cassava Ball checked with the religious contacts and they remain tight lipped. One Christian with nice silk tie and fat gold rings said it is biblical to not wait until the funeral to sing praises or give tears at the loss. No other Christian has objected to this view. Cassava Ball has been watching the TV channels to see which of the preachers has been saying things like this.
7. (C) Konkie said that many people have received the invitations and plan to attend - to see who else would be going. Some of the people who will be there are scared that if they are not there, then, the Christians and Muslims especially, that "God will Sin them". The Hindus who spoke with Konkie said that there is no concept such as sin in Hinduism and that nothing is wrong with saying thanks and that some people have illusions about bad things which are in fact good things in disguise.
9. (C) Konkie said that the alcohol sellers are annoyed that NO ALCOHOL WILL BE ALLOWED. They do not understand why they cannot express Appreciation for the high and unregulated sales of their product to whoever wants to buy. They were even planning to give out at cost price (many smuggle in their product so the costs are low)
10. (U) Cassava Ball and Sour said that some people on the road thought that there will be popular singers from Jamaica - those that were not arrested. Some people thought there will be a temporary lift on the ban on cocaine for those dealers who might appreciate the supportive business climate. Cassava Ball and Konkie have confirmed that this is not true. Another woman with dark shades in an SUV with dark tinted windows asked Konkie if she wanted to earn some money on her way out of the airport. Konkie thought it was a set up because she saw what looked like a policeman cuddling up with the woman.
11 (C) The Embassy understands security will be tight at the event so as to protect those with alleged criminal interests from being arrested or assassinated. Cassava Ball and Sour and Konkie have collected invitations to share out in return for any further intelligence they can gather. END.
EGGBALL
SUBJECT: APPRECIATION SCRUTINY
REF: A. EL DORADO non
B. ELDORADO sens
Classified By: [This is a complex case and we have added another agent on this matter. We need a code name which is not used often, a name which would reflect the national identity, the rarity, the cultural heritage of El Dorado. Political Officers Cassava Ball and Sour have joined with Konkie. Konkie has put her long blond hair in dreadlocks and befriended a taxi driver and a minibus driver so has good intelligence networks] Classification : DO NOT LEAK : for no apparent reason.
1. (C) SUMMARY : The Embassy has been puzzled by the 'Appreciation' being planned for the Supreme Leader/Champion/President. We have received invitations and seek advice on whether we should attend.END SUMMARY
2. (C) The Embassy received an unmarked package of invitations and VIP banners for an Appreciation Day. We scanned the envelope without opening it.
3. (C) The Embassy immediately informed the El Dorado Police Force that there seemed to be a threat on the life of the Supreme Leader/President/Champion since a funeral was being planned for him. Konkie had just come from an Appreciation Service for the second cousin of the third child-mother of the step-father of the child of the first child-mother of the minibus driver.
4. (U) The El Dorado Police Force said that it was not a funeral - not in the traditional sense. Konkie, Cassava Ball and Sour went on the road to find out. The ladies who begged with their children did not know about this kind of funeral. The children who skipped school because they did not have food did not know. Cassava Ball and Sour checked at the hospital and the man with blood on his face who had been waiting for three hours to see an emergency doctor did not know. Konkie went up to a woman wearing dark shades in a Cruiser with tinted windows. When Konkie tapped on her window , the woman pointed a gun at her. Konkie thought she saw a VIP invitation in the vehicle but could not confirm.
5. (VC) Please delete this after you have read. It seems as though instead of waiting for the Supreme Leader/Champion/President to die and then do the eulogies and so on, a group of civil society people.. many of whom have been trained and participated in our democracy and governance initiatives - have begged the Supreme leader/Champion/President to give him the eulogies before he leaves office. This is a new custom. The fear is that given the fat pension to ensure a healthy and long life; that when the man does die.. people would not remember who he was at his funeral. The country has a problem with forgetting its past Presidents and their legacies.
6. (U) Cassava Ball checked with the religious contacts and they remain tight lipped. One Christian with nice silk tie and fat gold rings said it is biblical to not wait until the funeral to sing praises or give tears at the loss. No other Christian has objected to this view. Cassava Ball has been watching the TV channels to see which of the preachers has been saying things like this.
7. (C) Konkie said that many people have received the invitations and plan to attend - to see who else would be going. Some of the people who will be there are scared that if they are not there, then, the Christians and Muslims especially, that "God will Sin them". The Hindus who spoke with Konkie said that there is no concept such as sin in Hinduism and that nothing is wrong with saying thanks and that some people have illusions about bad things which are in fact good things in disguise.
9. (C) Konkie said that the alcohol sellers are annoyed that NO ALCOHOL WILL BE ALLOWED. They do not understand why they cannot express Appreciation for the high and unregulated sales of their product to whoever wants to buy. They were even planning to give out at cost price (many smuggle in their product so the costs are low)
10. (U) Cassava Ball and Sour said that some people on the road thought that there will be popular singers from Jamaica - those that were not arrested. Some people thought there will be a temporary lift on the ban on cocaine for those dealers who might appreciate the supportive business climate. Cassava Ball and Konkie have confirmed that this is not true. Another woman with dark shades in an SUV with dark tinted windows asked Konkie if she wanted to earn some money on her way out of the airport. Konkie thought it was a set up because she saw what looked like a policeman cuddling up with the woman.
11 (C) The Embassy understands security will be tight at the event so as to protect those with alleged criminal interests from being arrested or assassinated. Cassava Ball and Sour and Konkie have collected invitations to share out in return for any further intelligence they can gather. END.
EGGBALL
funny profundities. lol
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