God and domestic violence..
The Pandit at the wedding said that a Hindu woman stays with her husband no matter what. A Hindu survivor of domestic violence got her inspiration from the Bhagvad Gita and the Mahabharata.. she said that story of standing up to family meant she should stand up to her abusive husband.
The work with Help & Shelter to combat domestic violence and child abuse involved working with religious and non-religious people; and in the beginning Help & Shelter was accused of being anti-family - family apparently being this place where women were supposed to take whatever was meted out to them.
Things changed though.. and one of the radical shifts which has come about has been the shift in how sections of the religious community have invested in and joined the work against domestic violence. One of the blessings I have is that in doing this work.. I have had to learn about different faiths, and the way in which they are organised and also to learn from the survivors of domestic violence who have used their faith to survive.
The first session with a faith based organisation I ever did was with the Guyana Conference of Seventh Day Adventists (GCSDA) who for sometime now have been clear in their teachings on family life about domestic violence and abuse. It was scary at the time.. the audience included the elders of various churches. The GCSDA has continued to discuss domestic violence, and this month I had the honour again of hosting a session with the Stanelytown SDA congregation.
Other youth groups and women's groups started to also discuss domestic violence - and it was interesting how the congregations motivated these discussions rather the church pastors themselves. I had the privilege of speaking from the pulpit on three occasions - though I had suggested that it would be better coming from the pastors themselves.
The Roadside Baptist Church in No 65 Village Corentyne was also in the forefront of the work, mobilising through their skills training centre to push the awareness around Upper Berbice at a time when there was no other awareness. The Youth Can Move the World programme which had strong affiliation to the Bahai faith was also consistent in spreading the information about domestic violence and child abuse. The Central Islamic Organisation of Guyana and some other Muslim assemblies have always been open to the discussions on domestic violence - most recently at a gathering of Imams. The Awake magazine of the Jehovah Witnesses has also dealt with domestic violence and abuse.
The Hindu community .. in the beginning it was like pulling teeth. There were discussions in various satsanghs, but no leadership statements or strong commitments against domestic violence. Things slowly changed, Pandit Chrishna Persaud organised a training session with the Guyana Sanatan Dharma Maha Sabha; and recently the Guyana Hindu Dharmic Sabha has been consistent in speaking out - last Navratra in one message encouraging Hindus to link the worship with the work against domestic violence.
Other pandits like Pandit Rajin Balgobin includes the condemnation of abuse and violence in his sermons. In this article published in Horizon 2011 , Hindu men talk about domestic violence. One of the men stated bluntly that if anyone is told by any person to stay in an abusive relationship by any religious leader, then they should feel free to find a religious gathering which would take them out of the abusive situation.
A woman told us of the practical help given by her Pastor - they went to the police with her and to the court - while she could get no assistance from any of the other religious persons around her.
The Sai Baba organisation has always been aware of the need to have the discussions, and the Sai devotees I met at the Prema Nilyam this month were very much aware of how they could assist in situations of violence and abuse. The Men's Empowerment Network is led by a Christian pastors who are also naming the violence and abuse while working with men.
Spare the rod and spoil the child..
Where some faith based groups fall down though, is in the beating of children. The same old arguments pop up.. family values, religious books say, everything that has been used to justify the violence comes up again. The brutality of slavery was justified by many Christians as well.. but on the other hand, many Christians have reclaimed these sayings and have asked people to think of other ways in which they view violence and children. It is ironic when even some people who are not Christian will quote this particular part of the Bible. It was horrible when a group of Christian people sought to form a committee to preserve family values.. apparently meaning that parents should be able to beat their children when they feel like.. much like how family values used to mean that men should beat or abuse their wives.
Many religious persons are changing - Help & Shelter's Pickney Project worked with faith based leaders who were taking the challenge of realising the changes needed without losing any power.
Lessons learned..
Faith based organisations have large constituencies . The message should be clear that no abuse or violence should be tolerated in any family. Some organisations have also recognised that separation is a not a bad thing.. that when the violence happens, the vows are broken.
Some organisations are learning their own power as they work with survivors - and provide support with the police and the court system. The Roadside Baptist Church is a good model for how they provide this support. Other organisations have reached out in different ways to provide safety and counselling support with a primary focus on ensuring no harm is done to the survivors.
The support to perpetrators vary.. there is danger in that many of the faith based leaders believe that the change can happen overnight and could expose the families to further risk.
Some perpetrators have changed their behaviour through prayer..but the safety of the rest of the family should not be held at ransom to this hope for change.
There is growing demand for faith based organisations to provide the pscyho-social support to survivors of domestic violence and abuse - this however should not absolve the Government from ensuring that all the other mechanisms outline in the National Domestic Violence policy are in place and working well.
The work with Help & Shelter to combat domestic violence and child abuse involved working with religious and non-religious people; and in the beginning Help & Shelter was accused of being anti-family - family apparently being this place where women were supposed to take whatever was meted out to them.
Things changed though.. and one of the radical shifts which has come about has been the shift in how sections of the religious community have invested in and joined the work against domestic violence. One of the blessings I have is that in doing this work.. I have had to learn about different faiths, and the way in which they are organised and also to learn from the survivors of domestic violence who have used their faith to survive.
The first session with a faith based organisation I ever did was with the Guyana Conference of Seventh Day Adventists (GCSDA) who for sometime now have been clear in their teachings on family life about domestic violence and abuse. It was scary at the time.. the audience included the elders of various churches. The GCSDA has continued to discuss domestic violence, and this month I had the honour again of hosting a session with the Stanelytown SDA congregation.
Other youth groups and women's groups started to also discuss domestic violence - and it was interesting how the congregations motivated these discussions rather the church pastors themselves. I had the privilege of speaking from the pulpit on three occasions - though I had suggested that it would be better coming from the pastors themselves.
The Roadside Baptist Church in No 65 Village Corentyne was also in the forefront of the work, mobilising through their skills training centre to push the awareness around Upper Berbice at a time when there was no other awareness. The Youth Can Move the World programme which had strong affiliation to the Bahai faith was also consistent in spreading the information about domestic violence and child abuse. The Central Islamic Organisation of Guyana and some other Muslim assemblies have always been open to the discussions on domestic violence - most recently at a gathering of Imams. The Awake magazine of the Jehovah Witnesses has also dealt with domestic violence and abuse.
The Hindu community .. in the beginning it was like pulling teeth. There were discussions in various satsanghs, but no leadership statements or strong commitments against domestic violence. Things slowly changed, Pandit Chrishna Persaud organised a training session with the Guyana Sanatan Dharma Maha Sabha; and recently the Guyana Hindu Dharmic Sabha has been consistent in speaking out - last Navratra in one message encouraging Hindus to link the worship with the work against domestic violence.
Other pandits like Pandit Rajin Balgobin includes the condemnation of abuse and violence in his sermons. In this article published in Horizon 2011 , Hindu men talk about domestic violence. One of the men stated bluntly that if anyone is told by any person to stay in an abusive relationship by any religious leader, then they should feel free to find a religious gathering which would take them out of the abusive situation.
A woman told us of the practical help given by her Pastor - they went to the police with her and to the court - while she could get no assistance from any of the other religious persons around her.
The Sai Baba organisation has always been aware of the need to have the discussions, and the Sai devotees I met at the Prema Nilyam this month were very much aware of how they could assist in situations of violence and abuse. The Men's Empowerment Network is led by a Christian pastors who are also naming the violence and abuse while working with men.
Spare the rod and spoil the child..
Where some faith based groups fall down though, is in the beating of children. The same old arguments pop up.. family values, religious books say, everything that has been used to justify the violence comes up again. The brutality of slavery was justified by many Christians as well.. but on the other hand, many Christians have reclaimed these sayings and have asked people to think of other ways in which they view violence and children. It is ironic when even some people who are not Christian will quote this particular part of the Bible. It was horrible when a group of Christian people sought to form a committee to preserve family values.. apparently meaning that parents should be able to beat their children when they feel like.. much like how family values used to mean that men should beat or abuse their wives.
Many religious persons are changing - Help & Shelter's Pickney Project worked with faith based leaders who were taking the challenge of realising the changes needed without losing any power.
Lessons learned..
Faith based organisations have large constituencies . The message should be clear that no abuse or violence should be tolerated in any family. Some organisations have also recognised that separation is a not a bad thing.. that when the violence happens, the vows are broken.
Some organisations are learning their own power as they work with survivors - and provide support with the police and the court system. The Roadside Baptist Church is a good model for how they provide this support. Other organisations have reached out in different ways to provide safety and counselling support with a primary focus on ensuring no harm is done to the survivors.
The support to perpetrators vary.. there is danger in that many of the faith based leaders believe that the change can happen overnight and could expose the families to further risk.
Some perpetrators have changed their behaviour through prayer..but the safety of the rest of the family should not be held at ransom to this hope for change.
There is growing demand for faith based organisations to provide the pscyho-social support to survivors of domestic violence and abuse - this however should not absolve the Government from ensuring that all the other mechanisms outline in the National Domestic Violence policy are in place and working well.
Comments
Post a Comment