You deleted me?
So the question came. No, I replied, you deleted me.. in my head, trying to say that when I thought that we were 'friends' that you were in fact undermining my work and engaging in unhealthy communication , In fact you 'deleted' me from your list of friends.
This is not the way that I would want to live or deal with people, but there is a sadness when you think you living good with people and then you realise that they have different things in mind.
In the year since I had written about Celebrating Friendship, I have grown less patient with people and they stupidness. It has been great to see old friends grow and to know about those friendships which are dependable.. dependable in the sense that you know those people, what they like, what they dont like and that most of the conversation is laughter and that there is always an intent to nurture rather than destroy.
Some people who have moved on, I let them go without any animosity and one or two I have said to them, that you have moved on so let us not struggle with it.
Values change, people change. I witnessed an exchange between two friends, 'Damn you to hell' said one to the other. If any of my friends said that to me, it would be the last conversation we would have.
As I get older, I like to have clear conversations and communications, like to know what people think and how they think. Over the weekend, I got a blow when a guy I thought I was arite wid and whose values I thought I understood, did one of those flimsy things of not being clear about supporting me in an event. A simple "No I cannot" was what I thought would have been said at the beginning rather than the fuelling of the expectation of 'yes, I am, want to come.. '. In my head I know that I not asking again.
I am terribly judgemental about people close to me, and I have high expectations of them, and when they don't meet the expectations then I put a nice space and distance between us. I also am happy that I meet the expectations of my friends too, and I am thankful for the good communication and feedback which would ensure that I know what is happening.
I treasure the shocked email from a woman who I have the greatest admiration and respect for and with whom I have some disagreements.. and she is so articulate that she expresses that disagreement much better than I ever could.. in that email she said she was happy and surprised to hear from me thinking that I did not think much of her.
I hope that when I disagree with people I do not give them the impression that I do not think much of them.
Facebook say I have 581 friends, plenty of them I do not know (and part of me is thinking that I do not want to really know them or I might also delete them). As people interact with me, I do not intend to hide my flaws. However, I hope that they will get something good from knowing me. Life too short to make enemies.
This is not the way that I would want to live or deal with people, but there is a sadness when you think you living good with people and then you realise that they have different things in mind.
In the year since I had written about Celebrating Friendship, I have grown less patient with people and they stupidness. It has been great to see old friends grow and to know about those friendships which are dependable.. dependable in the sense that you know those people, what they like, what they dont like and that most of the conversation is laughter and that there is always an intent to nurture rather than destroy.
Some people who have moved on, I let them go without any animosity and one or two I have said to them, that you have moved on so let us not struggle with it.
Values change, people change. I witnessed an exchange between two friends, 'Damn you to hell' said one to the other. If any of my friends said that to me, it would be the last conversation we would have.
As I get older, I like to have clear conversations and communications, like to know what people think and how they think. Over the weekend, I got a blow when a guy I thought I was arite wid and whose values I thought I understood, did one of those flimsy things of not being clear about supporting me in an event. A simple "No I cannot" was what I thought would have been said at the beginning rather than the fuelling of the expectation of 'yes, I am, want to come.. '. In my head I know that I not asking again.
I am terribly judgemental about people close to me, and I have high expectations of them, and when they don't meet the expectations then I put a nice space and distance between us. I also am happy that I meet the expectations of my friends too, and I am thankful for the good communication and feedback which would ensure that I know what is happening.
I treasure the shocked email from a woman who I have the greatest admiration and respect for and with whom I have some disagreements.. and she is so articulate that she expresses that disagreement much better than I ever could.. in that email she said she was happy and surprised to hear from me thinking that I did not think much of her.
I hope that when I disagree with people I do not give them the impression that I do not think much of them.
Facebook say I have 581 friends, plenty of them I do not know (and part of me is thinking that I do not want to really know them or I might also delete them). As people interact with me, I do not intend to hide my flaws. However, I hope that they will get something good from knowing me. Life too short to make enemies.
Bhai, couple screws like them slak in yuh brains...
ReplyDeleteFrom what I hear, is plenty screws slack, and some not even there anymore
ReplyDelete