Tekkin on..

I want the dark space again , but the sun in my face push me to get up. I am craving sweet and I am fighting, and feeling tired because the last few weeks I feel like I have been fighting. I have a feeling I am just going to have let things fall apart again and then resume.
There are a whole set of unanswered emails and they are just reminding me of the things which I am supposed to do and cannot do. There is a pile of books to read and I have like about 10 people with other books which I must read. Truth is, my mind cannot focus on the books at the moment.

The place is bright and hot, and I wish I could be in a cool dark place and just sleep for two days without feeling guilty or hungry, but the other part of me is saying.. get your ass up and get on with it, you have things to do, and this will pass , I know it will pass.
My body feels active, but I am feeling lazy to move. I feel I should go sit down in the sun and let it burn me a bit. With my mind the way it is, I want sensory stuff, so no matter how much sugar, it will not be sweet; the bitter allas dont taste bitter; and the sun does not feel hot. These things are to take my mind away.. but they dont. I did the surya namaskar, my body stretched but it was as though my mind was not there.

One lady sent her email in big bold letters, a shrill voice I can normally deal with but not today.. the compromises which I keep making, I guess I have to take a break from those and just chill out. Other shrill voices in other places I will avoid as well and leave the emails for when I can deal with them.

This will pass..  thank God for the bright sun and the things which have to be done.

Comments

  1. CaribaJune 12, 2010 at 10:53 AM

    It sounds like you are depressed. As a fellow sufferer, I should know. Start taking Omega3 fatty acids - you don't have to take the fish oil variety - there is flax seed oil.

    Sending good energy your way. OXOX

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJune 25, 2010 at 11:34 PM

    must say i disagree with the comment that suggests depression.

    this is deep honest stuff ... from another plain. not depression. if it is, well then i might as well get some (smile)

    later,
    janice imhoff

    ReplyDelete

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