Nobody wants to mess with me
Nobody wants to mess with me. I mean, nobody wants to throw faeces or empty their posey on me. I am not important enough. I do everything I could to seek publicity, and still, people ignore me. Nobody would take the time to collect faeces (whose faeces?), carefully transport in a white car (though I would want it to be an SUV, or Tundra with tinted glass windows) to come and throw on me.
I am not a radical martyr freedom fighter whose daily bowel movements are monitored in the latrine at New Garden street. This latrine, where semi-retired bowel-challenged defecators with PhDs who are tenured to the latrine probably consume laxatives of varying strengths so that they could continue defecating contests with radical martyr freedom fighters - sometimes in the State run Toilet or in other toilets.
Imagine, I stood up trying to get attention just outside the latrine, for a year as part of a protest. The Champion defecator or manurer of the Earth said our protest was cheap, while a junior defecator said that we were wasting our time.. imagine nobody bother to throw anything at us. The defecator who recently had someone's faeces thrown on him had said we were 'publicity seekers'.. well duuhhh , what do you think ranting and raving and so on is for? Not to seek publicity.?.. and it hurts to be ignored.
I wonder if they did not bother to mess with us because we stank already of faeces. But.. I dont think so.. I mean the Chief Processor of Defecation on his blog had called me a raging homosexual and hypocrite while another man with enviable bowel movements called me pedophile. But sex scandals.. nah.. sex scandals dont work.. i mean, we had them all here.. business man with the 13 year old girl, presidential officer with the 15 year old boy, TV station owner with children, 19 year old girl with.. well,, we dont know who yet and what.. NOTHING.. business man runs his business; presidential officer still presides , TV station owner still running his tv station, and the 19 year old girl has become a role model for every young person and old person who has ever wanted to have a garland thrown on them at the rodeo
The only sex scandal they would throw at me is that I am impotent and cannot have sex much less sex scandal..
I want to polish my halo with faeces which people will take their time to collect and throw on me. Can you imagine the sacrifice.. the smell in the car, the foot soldiers who would have to carry out their masters bidding.. I mean, the foot soldier.. does he stand outside the latrine, or does he have his bowl underneath the throne.. what what, how does it work? Is there symbolism in whose faeces is collected? If it is a dog, does the foot soldier have to run around the place waiting for a dog to defecate, then collect and keep and then follow me? Or does the foot soldier use his own? And while I might get support to bathe, wash off the faeces.. does the foot soldier.. does he go back to his masters and they help him scrub off the smell or does he do it alone? Shouldn't he be recognised too for his loyalty and heroism, or committment to quality customer service?
If it happes to me, this is what I will do. I will go immediately to the police station, but walk down the road passing every media house including those who normally ignore me, but no longer could ignore me, because I stink so much. If rain is not falling, plans would have to change.
I will make the Police take my report - they HAVE TO TAKE THE EVIDENCE FOR DNA .
They defecate in the police stations too, so I would not want the faeces on me confused with other people's faeces. I then will go to the Georgetown Hospital to have a lab test done , well how do you know that stuff thrown at you is faeces? I mean, everyday we get stuff thrown at us, and how do we know what is and what isn't faeces? They must have some science to prove it.
I do not want a bowl only, it has to be more than a bowl so I could have enough on me to make an impact. It could be a bowl, or Cup.
I think our press awards should be called 'bowls of faeces'.. I mean, who remembers who wins the Pulitzer or whatever they called it.. but everybody would remember.. ah yes, that is the person who manged to irritate people so much that they got a bowl of faeces or two bowls or three bowls on them. There should be posthumous bowls of faeces thrown on the social commentators and media people.. eg for the dead Editors of news papers who thundered and annoyed people for years.. Special mention also going to those newspapers who got newsprint in the '80s.. who by printing newspapers did great community service, because the papers were used as toilet paper when there was no toilet paper..
Many of us have survived the throwing of faeces, some of us have grown use to the smell. And others, like pumpkin and chowrai bhajee growing near latrines, have learnt to thrive in it. In the end, our faeces, like our bodies, go back to the earth and , will become irrelevant in the larger Universal cycle.
But right now, let us commend all who have bowls of faeces thrown on them.
I am not a radical martyr freedom fighter whose daily bowel movements are monitored in the latrine at New Garden street. This latrine, where semi-retired bowel-challenged defecators with PhDs who are tenured to the latrine probably consume laxatives of varying strengths so that they could continue defecating contests with radical martyr freedom fighters - sometimes in the State run Toilet or in other toilets.
Imagine, I stood up trying to get attention just outside the latrine, for a year as part of a protest. The Champion defecator or manurer of the Earth said our protest was cheap, while a junior defecator said that we were wasting our time.. imagine nobody bother to throw anything at us. The defecator who recently had someone's faeces thrown on him had said we were 'publicity seekers'.. well duuhhh , what do you think ranting and raving and so on is for? Not to seek publicity.?.. and it hurts to be ignored.
I wonder if they did not bother to mess with us because we stank already of faeces. But.. I dont think so.. I mean the Chief Processor of Defecation on his blog had called me a raging homosexual and hypocrite while another man with enviable bowel movements called me pedophile. But sex scandals.. nah.. sex scandals dont work.. i mean, we had them all here.. business man with the 13 year old girl, presidential officer with the 15 year old boy, TV station owner with children, 19 year old girl with.. well,, we dont know who yet and what.. NOTHING.. business man runs his business; presidential officer still presides , TV station owner still running his tv station, and the 19 year old girl has become a role model for every young person and old person who has ever wanted to have a garland thrown on them at the rodeo
The only sex scandal they would throw at me is that I am impotent and cannot have sex much less sex scandal..
I want to polish my halo with faeces which people will take their time to collect and throw on me. Can you imagine the sacrifice.. the smell in the car, the foot soldiers who would have to carry out their masters bidding.. I mean, the foot soldier.. does he stand outside the latrine, or does he have his bowl underneath the throne.. what what, how does it work? Is there symbolism in whose faeces is collected? If it is a dog, does the foot soldier have to run around the place waiting for a dog to defecate, then collect and keep and then follow me? Or does the foot soldier use his own? And while I might get support to bathe, wash off the faeces.. does the foot soldier.. does he go back to his masters and they help him scrub off the smell or does he do it alone? Shouldn't he be recognised too for his loyalty and heroism, or committment to quality customer service?
If it happes to me, this is what I will do. I will go immediately to the police station, but walk down the road passing every media house including those who normally ignore me, but no longer could ignore me, because I stink so much. If rain is not falling, plans would have to change.
I will make the Police take my report - they HAVE TO TAKE THE EVIDENCE FOR DNA .
They defecate in the police stations too, so I would not want the faeces on me confused with other people's faeces. I then will go to the Georgetown Hospital to have a lab test done , well how do you know that stuff thrown at you is faeces? I mean, everyday we get stuff thrown at us, and how do we know what is and what isn't faeces? They must have some science to prove it.
I do not want a bowl only, it has to be more than a bowl so I could have enough on me to make an impact. It could be a bowl, or Cup.
I think our press awards should be called 'bowls of faeces'.. I mean, who remembers who wins the Pulitzer or whatever they called it.. but everybody would remember.. ah yes, that is the person who manged to irritate people so much that they got a bowl of faeces or two bowls or three bowls on them. There should be posthumous bowls of faeces thrown on the social commentators and media people.. eg for the dead Editors of news papers who thundered and annoyed people for years.. Special mention also going to those newspapers who got newsprint in the '80s.. who by printing newspapers did great community service, because the papers were used as toilet paper when there was no toilet paper..
Many of us have survived the throwing of faeces, some of us have grown use to the smell. And others, like pumpkin and chowrai bhajee growing near latrines, have learnt to thrive in it. In the end, our faeces, like our bodies, go back to the earth and , will become irrelevant in the larger Universal cycle.
But right now, let us commend all who have bowls of faeces thrown on them.
We have to talk seriously about the e-book, I'd pay hansomely to read such prose (while whooping with laughter)... And I think the world would like to, too!
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