Fighting to thrive..

Life is strange.. I had grown dependent on the running and walking on the seawall, till the knees gave up, then this week after the savannah, the back has a glitch so in this weird twist, the things I rely to keep the body in motion .. they not working so I have to find other things without cursing fate.. and i cannot drown my sorrows in ice cream.. the seawall was not so good today since I kept envying all those running and walking past me

Weird things since I have come back, the mind is in a whirl of work activities to do, and things not done, but then other things which intervene about human connections and at the same time about things which I cannot do and about things which seem futile and not working.
In the middle of a busy work day, my three year old nephew haul me downstairs to play.. and i spend an hour or so playing with him instead of doing work.. and I realised that it was more important and not felt guilty that I should be doing 'great' things on a Friday morning instead of buying and selling lemons and picking leaves from plants in the  year and looking for coloured things..

I forgot an important meeting. Another report is not finished , due this morning.
So tonight I could not move to try any of the yoga, found myself lying down flat on the ground, the mind racing with all the different things, and then fighting to slow down the thoughts and saying to myself

 
I got up, got  chocolate cake and condensed milk.. to get the serotonin rush, and so now to go and sort out the different things.. The luxury of self indulgence is one that is taken for granted.

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