if ah wuz a beauty queen interviewing de President

De light headed ness after de elections finish plus de joint which roll wid de fake SOP just had me floating off again tinking, if I was a Queen interviewing de President who is a very very busy man and since like de weed mix wid grass which come out of de fertile Georgetown drains and fall off BK truck, I find myself asking questions and imagining what de perfect answers would be from de President


Me :  Your Excellency, Mr/Cde President, thank you for your time. Firstly, I must apologise for the smell. For this special interview, I opened the prize cologne  which was given to me for being 15th runner up in the intelligence segment and it seems as though the pageant organisers bought Abon instead Avon.



What I imagine de perfect answer from de president would be:
It is good to be here. I have been been so busy meeting key stakeholders like diplomats, gold miners and so on that I am glad to meet some ordinary special folks like yourself. In fact, speaking of ordinary folks I need to send out that letter to Clement, Donald and the others.

Me :  Cde/Mr President, this elections has seen a very divided country. In fact, people seem polarised between those who were elated that you wore a shirt jac to your swearing in, and those who desperately wanted you to wear a nice suit and with a nice tie. You know.. like if the division between those who want you to be Burnham and those who want you to be Barack. How do you plan to heal this division?



What I imagine de perfect answer from de president would be:
I am not Burnham, and even though I have an intelligent wonderful wife and two amazing daughters, I am not Barack. I am my own man, I will wear what is comfortable.


Me :  Mr/Cde President, I like that you say that. This weed , like it mix with curry because I can see you wearing a nice kurta made with cotton grown and spun in Guyana, and even a nice Nehru collar suit.

When the Cabinet was being announced, I had to go on the Internet to check up the meaning of some of the names of the Ministries. The one which sounded nice was the one about Ministry of Cohesion - I told my fans and readers to think Ministry of Evo Stik, or gamma cherry which would hold the people together. As the weed mixed with the wild dandelion from the drains of Georgetown gets in my head, I could see far and imagine that there will be desk for each of the six races and one for mixed/dougla/buffianda/red people, and a desk for gay rights ( I would not be a good beauty queen if I do not speak up for my gay peeps) . Do you know if the nice lady Minister would be wearing a green and yellow sari to the Independence celebrations?



What I imagine de perfect answer from de president would be:
 It is early days yet. Our Ministers are organising themselves and I can imagine that many of them are getting used to being in Government rather than in Opposition. We have to wait on the budget to make or buy new desks.  We want to make sure that all desks are equal in size. 


Me : Sir, while I was waiting on my mud pack to work (I recommend the mud from Waterloo Street near the Globe Yard for the best facial ), somebody read a nice article to me and they said you like batch music or something like that.  The reporter spell the name like Bach and I went on google. Sir, I like to test music by imagining I am on catwalk. So I got this piece, and went down to Independence Arch after the workers finish, I put on my new brand heels and I put on the music.


Sir, this music made me run , the heels break and I run barefoot all the way from the Arch to Parliament Buildings in no time. A lot of people are very scared of you and you seem like a nice man. What is it with this music?


What I imagine de perfect answer from de president would be: 
I think everyone should enjoy their own music and they should feel free to sing, once it is not too loudly to disturb anyone else. How do you think I should deal with this fear?

Me :  Sir, from your singing, I would say that you might have a lot in common with the people.. I mean some of our Presidents used to dance plenty.. can you win'e out of time like a coolie bai? Will you be posing with seven curry in a leaf any time soon? 


What I imagine de perfect answer from de president would be:
I want to create a country where those who enjoy seven curry should be free to do so without any fear or discrimination and that we should respect differences  some like seven curry, some like one, some do not like curry. 


Me :  While I was doing the pedicure after running down Brickdam and my phone battery went dead because my feet are really hard and it was taking long , I see this nice thing which I meant to put on Facebook so I could show that I was cheated in the intelligence pageant "Be like a garland-maker, O king, not like a charcoal burner." Mahabharata, XII.72.20 "  I ask the girl to explain to me because the last mala we saw was the one with five thousand dollar notes and she say that she think that garland is with nice different flowers, while charcoal is when all wood is burn up and you get that nice coal which could be messy. My fans and I know that you want integrity and honesty and people to focus on work and that charcoal had me wondering, in that new cabinet, would any of the gray hairs be blacking their hair?

What I imagine de perfect answer from de president would be:
It is up to each Minister to decide how they want to handle their portfolio and for the citizens to decide how much blacking their hair.

Me : In the last administration there was a lot of talk about teeth. Charcoal is good for whitening teeth - would you be asking any of the public officials to try with charcoal and black sage first before they make their claims?


What I imagine de perfect answer from de president would be: 
We have to streamline all the benefits. All recommendations for public health care will be pursued.


Me : Mr/Cde President, one last thing before this ganja wear out. Since you do not have too many women in the Cabinet and you have vacancies for ambassadors and all of us beauty queens aspire to be ambassadors for Guyana and we are already trained and could represent Guyana anywhere and any time , when could we get our postings? 

What I imagine de perfect answer from de president would be:
My friend, thank you.