Geneva, 22,23 September, 2010

Good day to you friends on the Human Rights Council, and to hell with you from Canada, UK and the USA .. what? camera? No, please turn off the cameras  and microphones because the last time I was here in May, my presentation was misinterpreted in Guyana.
Fortunately, no one cared enough so I am here again.

First of all, - yes my breath stinks damn it because I needed a cigarette before coming here,  I want you to note that Guyana has sent a minority woman here to show how progressive we are on human rights. Yes, it is true that other minority women are abused as domestics.. but we deal appropriately with the abusers, in that we allow them to be abusive but not in the presence of the domestics.

Minorty, well I am of Portuguese origin, I am an active member of the ruling party (not many portuguese are in the ruling party, or in Guyana for that matter) and I have a kind of Canadian/British/American accent which I have not lost - oops yes, I know I sound like those unfriendly governments on the panel.

What? Oh.. you see, because I never listen to people really, I did not adopt any of the local vernacular. No, I am not lesbian, but that would have been perfect because none of you holier than thou people would have had minority women represent your countries here.

Second, consultation, consultation, consultation, consultation, consultation.. I cannot stress how much our government is committed to consultation at all levels.. and I advise those of you who have problems with human rights to do the same. Take the issues and put in the black hole of consultation so you can blame the people, the masses,, well at least those who you consult with. Donors love consultation, we have lots of multi-stakeholder forums here in Guyana and that kind of thing..  and you know, in Guyana, we have found that instead of jailing the opposition, we give them cherry juice and some scones or eclairs or sandwiches depending on the donor, and well, people will not be nasty with their mouths full will they? And who will check whether you are doing anything at all or following up or the quality of the consultation and so on.


Death penalty.. it is there but we have not hanged or killed anyone, but USA will kill a woman so do not preach to me about death penalty.I don;t see you people objecting. Yes I know our friends in China also use the death penalty.  But we will consult anyway, it is a nice thing to do and we could get lots of feedback and so on, people feel good to vent their feelings.

Right.. the beating children. I have never beaten my children but you know in Guyana, we have to leave people to vent their frustrations some how. I mean, if they do not beat their children who are powerless, then who will they beat? Us?
And the PNC/C likes beating children so even though the PPP/R is firmly opposed to the beating children, we have to give the PNC/C something..


Okay.. about that other thing, sexual orientation .. look, we are not homophobic , I have gay friends, and we our Government has hired people whose sexual orientation is unknown and in fact we have even covered for some whose sexual practices might be considered morally reprehensible or even legally reprehensible. So we are a sexually liberal government, Okay..

And we have beauty pageants and things like that which gay men like and we also give out HIV money and every now and then the Minister of Health would speak up for those men who have sex with men (is that the same thing as gay?)
No, this nonsense about , what " gays, homosexuals, lesbians, bi-sexuals and trans-gendered," Good heavens, so many words.. listen, we tried okay, but do you know the pressure, do you what it is like to have to go to prayer meetings and to be prayed for openly?

Have some compassion for us.. it is better to be harangued at by an anti-man - our local vernacular I think for "gays, homosexuals, lesbians, bi-sexuals and trans-gendered," , because they are so few who are willing to come out and cuss up.. than it is to have all those prayers and loud wailing and singing and all those things which the Evangelicals did.. my mentor, Janet Jagan found herself in church with the then youngster Bharat Jagdeo.. it was awful for us and then you have the Muslims as well.


Listen , I had enough of that during the abortion debate, but we got it through.



And.. we ditched the religious community , who were united in opposition to the Casino Bill, but our Ministers Rohee and the late Desrey Fox put them to the place to say why we should ignore them and go ahead with the Gambling.

And we have made a nice pact with the Evangelical community - we have hired some of their pastors and leaders and given them nice work and pay, and in return, we allow them to use our resources to condemn homosexuality only.

It works well, there is a nice target.


And we have a wonderful win win situation in our multicultural society multireligious society.
The religious groups in return for the little favours remain silent on the accusations of child abuse, fornication, adultery, fornication and, harassment and any of the other sexual 'misconduct' which your Governments and our government have to deal with amongst its members.
In addition, they do not speak out on poverty or any of the other things which in other countries, Religious leaders sometimes do. I know, I know.. we could have banned religion.. but you know how difficult that it is, so we work with it .. and it is amazing.


Okay, I need a smoke now.

You can turn on the microphones and I will of course deny I said what I just said if it is ever reported.

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