Thinking of women..
The woman told me that she liked my tee-shirt and she laughed at me when I nearly stumbled.. I was on the seawall, huffing and puffing so could not think of something to say.. like asking her "what about the man wearing the tee-shirt."
The first International Women's Day 2010 was a note by a young man that 8 March was going to be male bashing day. No woman bashed me.
The day started with reading of the suicide of a young teacher in Lethem. It pains me to hear when young women feel that they have no hope even as they are in places to offer hope. Another young woman and I talked about depression and her sense of not wanting to survive, even as I begged her to keep writing and talking because the things she has been writing have been inspirational. So many women, regardless of their achievements are made to feel that they are less than worthy.
One of the lessons from working with Help & Shelter is listening to women, and listening without prejudice. And I learnt from women about how they survive and celebrate. My favourite memory is the woman from Patentia Housing Scheme, retired sugar worker. She told me life was good now, she has fowls, sells the eggs, collects her pension, she goes to buy a chinee food or KFC if she comes to town, then she might go cinema. She goes to church, plants garden. She told me she does not have any man to bother her, and she kicked the children out of her house because they was botheration. Her only regret, was the woman with whom she worked, got cancer soon after so the plans they had made together for post retirement and she had to nurse and bury that friend.
Another woman I remember who came to tell me she quit the abusive relationship and to celebrate was going to take a day off from her domestic work duties, go and buy a half with two servings of fried fish as cutters and she was going to sit down in America Street at one of the bars there.
I have learnt from the women libbers around me about questioning gender, and race, and religion and class and about thinking that it is possible for anybody to be anything. I think of the woman who kept me awake arguing and talking and laughing until 2,3 in the morning.
I think of my mother who could still drive me crazy, but who quietly ensured that we learnt the religion and got some moral values and who found her own ways to resist the political interventions in her work in Guyana. My great grandmother who wanted her granddaughters to get married early, but who relented after one aunt cried to go to school and who subsequently was one of the first Indian women in Guyana to cross the other kala paani and go to University abroad.
I think of the women who I stand up next to every Thursday afternoon outside the Office of the President to protest against violence , especially sexual violence against children.
There is one woman who comes from far to be part of that protest. I think of the policewomen who come and watch us protest and smile because they know what we talking about but they feel powerless as well.
I think of the women security guards reading their Bible or knitting, when they apparently not supposed to.
I think of the women who use their power destructively , and the other women who resist that power. Some women believe that things wonderful in Guyana for them since 1992, while others have to deal with the same things they were dealing with 20 years ago or worse.
I am angry at the womenwho beat out at children and refuse to change their behaviour, and I think of the woman in the Rupununi who told a man in the bus- " i hear you like lil gyurls, take this one with you, and pointing to a small girl child".
I am still angry at the woman who told me that she could not do anything to stop her husband from having sex with their daughter for 11 years, from when the daughter was five.
Navratra will come up soon, nine nights of Hindus recognition of Shakti. A lot of men who normally have no respect for women would be doing the aarti and praising the Divine Mother. Some of my Hindu brothers though would say that the women and girls do not 'deserve' that respect. Some of them however, feel that the women in their lives should respect them regardless of whether they 'deserve' it or not. I think of the women who keep the mandirs open and who have nurtured the religious spaces, often quietly.
I am thinking of the men who want to become women. I am thinking of the women who want to become men. And I think of how much I am prejudiced and cynical about what that becoming is because in my head I have men wanting big boobs and women wanting to walk like a man and talking with a deep voice. I have to overcome these prejudices.
I have accepted that there are some women who I will revere and respect, and there are others who will cause me to reach deep within to hold back on the worst language. Just as it is with men.
The first International Women's Day 2010 was a note by a young man that 8 March was going to be male bashing day. No woman bashed me.
The day started with reading of the suicide of a young teacher in Lethem. It pains me to hear when young women feel that they have no hope even as they are in places to offer hope. Another young woman and I talked about depression and her sense of not wanting to survive, even as I begged her to keep writing and talking because the things she has been writing have been inspirational. So many women, regardless of their achievements are made to feel that they are less than worthy.
One of the lessons from working with Help & Shelter is listening to women, and listening without prejudice. And I learnt from women about how they survive and celebrate. My favourite memory is the woman from Patentia Housing Scheme, retired sugar worker. She told me life was good now, she has fowls, sells the eggs, collects her pension, she goes to buy a chinee food or KFC if she comes to town, then she might go cinema. She goes to church, plants garden. She told me she does not have any man to bother her, and she kicked the children out of her house because they was botheration. Her only regret, was the woman with whom she worked, got cancer soon after so the plans they had made together for post retirement and she had to nurse and bury that friend.
Another woman I remember who came to tell me she quit the abusive relationship and to celebrate was going to take a day off from her domestic work duties, go and buy a half with two servings of fried fish as cutters and she was going to sit down in America Street at one of the bars there.
I have learnt from the women libbers around me about questioning gender, and race, and religion and class and about thinking that it is possible for anybody to be anything. I think of the woman who kept me awake arguing and talking and laughing until 2,3 in the morning.
I think of my mother who could still drive me crazy, but who quietly ensured that we learnt the religion and got some moral values and who found her own ways to resist the political interventions in her work in Guyana. My great grandmother who wanted her granddaughters to get married early, but who relented after one aunt cried to go to school and who subsequently was one of the first Indian women in Guyana to cross the other kala paani and go to University abroad.
I think of the women who I stand up next to every Thursday afternoon outside the Office of the President to protest against violence , especially sexual violence against children.
There is one woman who comes from far to be part of that protest. I think of the policewomen who come and watch us protest and smile because they know what we talking about but they feel powerless as well.
I think of the women security guards reading their Bible or knitting, when they apparently not supposed to.
I think of the women who use their power destructively , and the other women who resist that power. Some women believe that things wonderful in Guyana for them since 1992, while others have to deal with the same things they were dealing with 20 years ago or worse.
I am angry at the womenwho beat out at children and refuse to change their behaviour, and I think of the woman in the Rupununi who told a man in the bus- " i hear you like lil gyurls, take this one with you, and pointing to a small girl child".
I am still angry at the woman who told me that she could not do anything to stop her husband from having sex with their daughter for 11 years, from when the daughter was five.
Navratra will come up soon, nine nights of Hindus recognition of Shakti. A lot of men who normally have no respect for women would be doing the aarti and praising the Divine Mother. Some of my Hindu brothers though would say that the women and girls do not 'deserve' that respect. Some of them however, feel that the women in their lives should respect them regardless of whether they 'deserve' it or not. I think of the women who keep the mandirs open and who have nurtured the religious spaces, often quietly.
I am thinking of the men who want to become women. I am thinking of the women who want to become men. And I think of how much I am prejudiced and cynical about what that becoming is because in my head I have men wanting big boobs and women wanting to walk like a man and talking with a deep voice. I have to overcome these prejudices.
I have accepted that there are some women who I will revere and respect, and there are others who will cause me to reach deep within to hold back on the worst language. Just as it is with men.
Good stuff Vidya.
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