Healing with the cake crumbs..

Staring at the recipe and thinking that it has been awhile, probably a year now but time does not matter. Trying to focus. There are some adjustments and complexities like 2 and 1/3 tsp of baking soda with a little extra for the crushed banana as the egg substitute.

The days are tough. Getting through is hard. Taking escape in bad good which is good because it offers some path through. Body though feels heavy after but getting from moment to moment is important.

There is a lot to do. The feeling of being out of control of things and not being able to acheive highly. One assignment with no end in sight.
 Finish 1/3 of a task. Another task incomplete. Time running out. Feeling heavy as another task does not result in any transformation.

Feeling anxious about the work which will pay but will not nurture like the cake will nurture.

The cake is perfect. The butter and sugar cream up and the banana does not make it run. They rise level. It holds and the crumbs.. each crumb gives a rush.

I eat too much of it instead of running or exercising or making salad or healthy food.

I should be working on other things but the heavy dark clouds are not moving.  I should be moving and healing and undoing the effects of the bad food and the other things over the last year. There should be some motivation for survival.

The crumbs though, are delicious.  I have to stop agonising over the other choices .  I know I should wait but time is running out.

Choices away from cake which  are needed and necessary.

The cake crumbs are delicious though.

Comments

  1. AnonymousOctober 25, 2016 at 9:27 PM

    The myth of choice to eat or not to eat

    ReplyDelete

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