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Showing posts from September, 2014

The yoga of diclofenac..

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The penis lost and I decided to take a diclofenac to ease the pain around the waist and hips which is junior arthritis. I was determined to bear it out, to try to move and walk but it became annoying since sitting, walking, standing was getting to be more stupid and even the yoga pushing was not working out. 12 hours after the diclofenac , the Surya Namaskar was nice and flowing and I sat in lotus position in the mandir without having to fidget or move around or get out. There is a little reminder. There is all kind of diclofenac available.. the cheap little brown ones to the coated capsules. Because it has some effect on the stomach for some of us. And I know that this will not last forever as the tablet will wear off. That's the thing though.. these things which remove  pain , so easy to become hooked on painless living and the things which might help them.  And I think of those memories of encounters with people which bring spasms which though are not as annoying as n

Pumpkin, bhaji, channa soup and mindfulness

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When energy is low and the mood says just do nothing, there is something about the effort required to wander around the market and get the ingredients for the soup. The flavour was remembered but not the recipe and with a mind that part says what the hell, whatever comes out I will eat it; and another that says.. come on man, try, try.. And so it is.. the preparation.. picking and washing the bhaji leaves, going and dig the tumeric plants and chipping and getting the hands and everything else yellow, the pumpkin to be peeled and chunked up, thyme to be torn from the stem and the rest put into the freezer, the ginger to be peeled and chipped and seller cursed for having what seems to be imitation ginger, and sweet peppers cutting, and onion and garlic and celery.. sweet potato peeled.. yeah this soup satisfies the sweet craving .. the pumpkin and sweet potato and the channa .. Everything.. slowly, it is like feeling each thing, using the sharp knife, and being happy that you ca

The yoga of pushing it...

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Image from Yogi Buddha Something about today and the body felt flexible even though the waist at the back was hurting and there was a numbness at the top of the hit.  It has been a while and my head reached the knees without much effort, though I could not hold for a long time. Sometimes I wonder how this works, how some days are different and things go smoothly and other days things are difficult, slower to do. I have been trying to figure this out. I remember when I used to run how it was good somedays to finish the run and wonder how the time went while other days it was punishment. I used to wonder if it was related to what I ate, when I ate, how I slept etc. Are there mind/spirit warming exercises like body warming exercises?  There was something today as I tried to get through the yoga routine of feeling that I should push it.. and that is sometimes how when the dark clouds are present in the mind, there is this thing of pushing though unlike the yoga, the mental pushi

Lime water and Rachmaninov's Piano Concertos No.2 & 3 on a Sunday morning..

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I had just walked out from another speech from Minister of Education Priya Manickchand about her Government's successes with domestic violence and child abuse prevention - when I received the text asking me if I had ever heard Rachmaninov's Piano Concertos. I like classical music but very rarely remember names of composers and their works and I cannot get into critiquing any performance beyond it sound good or it make my skin grow.  The man who had sent the text sent another one to say  that he found them life affirming and when I came home that night I listened to a Vladimir Horowitz performance and got the emotions rolling through the loss of Guyana being able to get anywhere in its work for social justice.. the despair at how I got caught up in the sucking up to the Minister,  and as the piano and orchestra moved generated sound waves pushing the mood to believe that anything was possible. I never talked to the man again about the piano concertos - I did feel inadequ

The yoga of brownies at breakfast...

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Yeah. healthy diet is supposed to be good for mental health and healthy diet which is not about vegetables and fruit but rather about about sugar and flour and cocoa including the Northwest cocoa sticks and butter But.. as the mind and the body war with each other over what is needed and what is not needed in the end, it is easier to follow the recipe for chocolate brownies rather than any prescription for pursuing the shift in personal circumstances required for good mental health and wellness. And so even if the day starts of with the anxiety that you cannot plan the day and that the only way to deal with those uncertainties is to eat not carrots but sugary stuff.. the coffee and brownie start to the day gives the rush to the head which might be temporary but feels good in a way that oats and fruit do not. One of the challenges of mental health is trying not to succumb to the temporary apparent solutions and managing focus on the long term.

Fish glue and the glories of backtrack

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Water in the Corentyne River near the ferry one morning in August The men said that the fish glue carries more money than the fish. They do not know why but the buyers wait on the shores in Suriname and French Guiana for when the boats come in.  I told the men that I had heard from an old woman who used to sell fish that the glue had something to do with cocaine but the men said they did not know. One of the men was hustling up to go over to Suriname to stamp his passport legally and get this six months and then come back 'backtrack' because he had some work to do in the backdam before he go back to his fishing job in French Guiana. Another lady in the line said she fed up with the ferry crossing but only uses it when she needs to stamp her passport.. time like now she done reach. The Guyana/Suriname border is an interesting one. The backtrack and the front track? seem to work side by side. Most of the regular travellers curse the front track for the long wait at the

The yoga of making strangers laugh

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The woman bus' out a big laugh when she ask me how I do and I tell she ah gun know when I see de money I collect from de cashier at UG. She seh she get she laff fuh de week. Fighting the desire to be alone is an important of managing depression and trying to maintain connections. It is nice pleasant exchanges - on Facebook and on the phone and in emails. Work is a bit difficult as the article is not being written as easily as it should be and the cravings for sweet not satisfied by any yoga serotonin. The Universe laughs too and sends a message from a former loved one in a far off place who asks politely for comments and immediate assistance. And in the same vein as making the stranger woman laugh, you reply carefully, preserving the fragile connection instead of ignoring the message and you write a message which is nice and then you wonder if you should have written a different message and you spend a long time flat on the back not doing the yoga posture but rather thinking

The yoga of methem

House of Flavours sells the methem in a nice steel bowl. If you take fish, you cannot have it in the calabash. The methem is warm and comforting. It is too much really in the bowl, but it is nice to eat. Eating is one of the things which helps to take the mind off of the depression and the feelings of being stuck in a rut and not able to concentrate. Eating though is not good, well you should eat healthy stuff so there is a war always with the cravings for sweet - chocolate, jam which will make the sugar levels worse; or for the things which will hurt the teeth like the nuts and cheese stix. There is ice cream always but you are not going to give up yet, give in really though giving in is always there... and you think about the other people who probably do not suicide immediately but who slowly drink, smoke, eat themselves through all the wrong things which will make living bearable and which might also make things unbearable. The body is stiff all the time so the walk to lo

The Yoga of stiff muscles and joints..

They did not tell you in High School and University that different things will manifest in your body in your forties. They did not tell you that your body for no known reason except the unresolved issues will stiffen up and that it will become uncomfortable to stand up, sit down, lie down, walk for a long time and that the temporary relief after activity lasts until the stiffness comes back - sometimes there is pain but otherwise there is just this feeling that the entire body is clenched. Chikunguyna they said leaves joint pain, but sometimes it is not so much the pain as the inability to flex the knees to run up the steps and to flex the back so that the head can touch the knees even if some of the back muscles say it will be okay to do that but other muscles seem to be clenching in teh reverse direction. Stiffness that has the jaw tense and you have to be stretching your mouth constantly to relax the jaw. You are not sure what causes this stiffness and sometimes pain and imm